“By the Lords of Space, look who it is! It’s Captain Groggy!”
Grognard looked up from his rum. He was in a foul mood to begin with and being called ‘Groggy’ wasn’t helping. When he saw who it was, his mood only darkened more.
“Oh, I thought I smelled sewage,” Grognard said.
Captain Arachnos’ smug smile turned into a snarl. Arachnos got his start in space pirating by mutinying on a garbage transport. He had a million spider tattoos and named every ship in his fleet after spiders, but he still couldn’t shake his garbage past.”
“Maybe you’re smelling your own ship,” Arachnos said. “I saw what the prison did to your ship. There is a crater where your missile array used to be. Did you shoot yourself again?”
Arachnos’ crew laughed at his joke. It wasn’t a good joke but it was his crew so they were laughing.
Grognard stood up. His own crew came over to his table. The other patrons slowly left the bar. The bartender’s hands went under the bar and were obviously reaching for a rifle. Tensions were rising. The smart thing to do would be to offer Arachnos a drink and let this all slide.
“Arachnos, it is time someone finally took out the garbage around here,” Grognard said.
“Ha, with what ship, Groggy?” Archnos said.
“I still have two ships in my fleet,” Grognard said. “We only need one to take you out but we’ll bring the second just to make sure none of the vermin fleeing your ship lives.”
Grognard’s crew laughed. It was a lousy joke but it didn’t matter. Nothing was funnier than your Captain putting down another Captain.
Arachnos narrowed his eyes at Grognard. “It is time you learned respect, Groggy. In two days, I’ll be at the Aeon Nebula. Meet us there and I’ll teach you a thing or two.”
Grognard nodded. “Make sure you give your ship a wash first. I hate capturing dirty ships.”
Arachnos sneered and walked away. His crew left with him.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Prison Break Thoughts
Ouch.
I tried out my Prison Break scenario. The type and size of the prison is determined by a single die roll and I rolled the most powerful station. At 4 shields, 4 guns, 3 missiles and 2 AAR, I knew it would be tough. I had 4 pirate ships, surely that would make it a close fight?
Not really. The ships came in 48 inches away and well, got the crap blasted out of them as they came closer. The prison counted as a Class 5 ship and every hit hurt. My two Class 4 Ravagers got umm, ravaged. When the Prison made contact on their distress call and 3 Class 3 ships showed up, there was nothing for the pirates to do but run.
Much like last time’s Crypt Ship Adventure, the initial die roll to determine forces set the tone. The pirates were out classed from the start. I am not too bothered by this as asymmetrical battles seem to be what Star Navy is all about.
I am more concerned with well, how dull it was to attack a stationary target. It was a simple matter to closing in where as even when attacking a merchant ship, there is some maneuvering. I am tempted to modify this by putting a defending force around the prison to begin with. I could create a chart to generate a garrison force that protects the prison.
If I do this, I need to weaken the prison considerably. Maybe reduce it down to something with a lot of hull but weaker weapons. It could still be Class 5 but maybe only have 2 guns and 1 missile. I’ll have to think about it.
Either way, I don’t think the pirates attack a fixed point is interesting in itself. I think a garrison force is needed to jazz it up and encourage more strategy from the pirate player.
I tried out my Prison Break scenario. The type and size of the prison is determined by a single die roll and I rolled the most powerful station. At 4 shields, 4 guns, 3 missiles and 2 AAR, I knew it would be tough. I had 4 pirate ships, surely that would make it a close fight?
Not really. The ships came in 48 inches away and well, got the crap blasted out of them as they came closer. The prison counted as a Class 5 ship and every hit hurt. My two Class 4 Ravagers got umm, ravaged. When the Prison made contact on their distress call and 3 Class 3 ships showed up, there was nothing for the pirates to do but run.
Much like last time’s Crypt Ship Adventure, the initial die roll to determine forces set the tone. The pirates were out classed from the start. I am not too bothered by this as asymmetrical battles seem to be what Star Navy is all about.
I am more concerned with well, how dull it was to attack a stationary target. It was a simple matter to closing in where as even when attacking a merchant ship, there is some maneuvering. I am tempted to modify this by putting a defending force around the prison to begin with. I could create a chart to generate a garrison force that protects the prison.
If I do this, I need to weaken the prison considerably. Maybe reduce it down to something with a lot of hull but weaker weapons. It could still be Class 5 but maybe only have 2 guns and 1 missile. I’ll have to think about it.
Either way, I don’t think the pirates attack a fixed point is interesting in itself. I think a garrison force is needed to jazz it up and encourage more strategy from the pirate player.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Wal-Targ-3 Employee of the Cycle!
Wal-Targ-3 is proud to announce the Employee of the Cycle: Warden Barbara Nestle!
Warden Nestle successfully repelled an attempted prison break at Punishment Center Blue. At least eighteen pirate ships were involved in this attack but Warden Nestle was able to prevent any prisoners from escaping. Only minor damage was caused to the structure of Punishment Center Blue, and casualty rates were well below company safety guidelines!
“It was a savage fight but my expertly lead staff was able to defend the station,” Warden Nestle said. “Prisoners were able to continue their punishment service and starship identification beacon production never dropped below 98% efficiency. In fact, I hope those pirates come back so I can teach them some Wal-Targ-3 brutality!”
Wal-Targ-3 Security ships are currently searching for the pirate fleet. All citizen-associates are asked to provide any information that have in exchange for promotion points and access to the Fast Checkout Lane!
Warden Nestle successfully repelled an attempted prison break at Punishment Center Blue. At least eighteen pirate ships were involved in this attack but Warden Nestle was able to prevent any prisoners from escaping. Only minor damage was caused to the structure of Punishment Center Blue, and casualty rates were well below company safety guidelines!
“It was a savage fight but my expertly lead staff was able to defend the station,” Warden Nestle said. “Prisoners were able to continue their punishment service and starship identification beacon production never dropped below 98% efficiency. In fact, I hope those pirates come back so I can teach them some Wal-Targ-3 brutality!”
Wal-Targ-3 Security ships are currently searching for the pirate fleet. All citizen-associates are asked to provide any information that have in exchange for promotion points and access to the Fast Checkout Lane!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Attack on Punishment Center Blue!
 |
| Image of Pirate Fleet provided by Spy satellite Virgin-Sprint #801 |
“Preparing to cut jump drives,” Johnson on helm announced.
Grognard leaned back in his command chair. The only thing this plan had going for it was sheer audacity. People just don’t attack Maximum Security Prisons. He was hoping the stupid bravery of the act would be enough to rescue the wealthy incarcerated man they had been sent to rescue. Four hundred MegaCreds bought a lot of bravery.
Still, his eyes drifted down to the ‘1’ he rolled.
“Entering real space!” Johnson cried.
 |
| Punishment Center Blue image provided by Wal-Targ-3 Security Satellite |
Punishment Center Blue appeared on the monitor. It was huge. The folly of attacking it was obvious. They should run now while they could.
“All ships are accounted for,” Isis reported on sensors.
“Attack!” Grognard commanded.
The Reroll surged forward. Omega Murder Comet took a position slightly back and to starboard. The smaller Slapstick took their position to Omega Murder Comet’s starboard while the equally small Recursive Function took their place to The Reroll’s port.
Grognard took a deep breath. The Reroll was the front point of the formation to absorb as much fire as it could from the prison. He prayed to the Gods of Dice and Wargames that they could survive the pounding.
“Open fire!” he commanded. They were at long range but you never knew, they might get lucky.
He watched as the pirate fleet sent a barrage of concentrated lasers and plasma towards the prison. Barely half of the shots reached the prison and those that did hammered what was considered a weak point of shields. He had hoped the focused volley could cause a shield failure. Instead, the shields easily held.
“Return fire incoming!”
Grognard gasped at the multitude of lasers headed their way. He knew the prison was well armed but he didn’t quite grasp just how well armed until now. Fortunately they were still at long range and most of the shots were easy to evade. They wouldn’t have that luxury for much longer.
“They are calling for help,” Isis reported.
“Of course they are, keep firing!” Grognard yelled. They were within optimal targeting range; the fleet’s combined fire might crack the prison’s shields this time.
The prison’s shields held. The pirate fleet managed to hit it more times than last but they still couldn’t crack those shields.
Grognard watched another storm of lasers come from the prison. He watched with dismay as they rained onto The Reroll’s shields.
***
Captain Randy Deathspasm stood on the bridge of Omega Murder Comet. He screaming a long piercing yell into his microphone club as the prison fired upon him. Over the ship communication system, a hundred electric guitars howled their support.
“The Reroll has been hit!” 1st Bass/Tactical officer Lita Fire reported. “Their missile bays have been destroyed!”
“Do they want us to take lead position?” Deathspasm asked. The return fire from the prison had been brutal. He couldn’t wait to risk body and soul.
“Negative!” reported 2nd Guitar/Sensors officer Tokie Slaughter. “They say to hold position.
Deathspasm grinned in appreciation. “I knew Grognard was the right man to follow. That man is metal.”
***
Captain Ticklepoke threw a pie at the back of the head of the helmsman. The bridge crew laughed as he struggled keep their ship flying straight and now kill them all by the crashing into Omega Murder Comet.
Ticklepoke smiled. It was good to keep crew morale up and clowns loved a pie hit. Too bad they couldn’t get a blasted hit through the prison’s shields.
“The Reroll is dropping back and the Omega Murder Comet is taking lead!” Candy Carl reported on sensors.
“Better the Comet than us,” Ticklepoke said. The Slapstick was supposed to take lead next if the Comet got damaged. The thought of the Class Three Marauder absorbing fire from the massive prison was such a ridiculous idea that Ticklepoke was impressed. Grognard did have a sense of humor.
She watched the monitor as the pirate fleet continued to concentrate on a single point in the shields. To her complete surprise, one of the prison shields collapsed!
“Only three more to destroy!” Ticklepoke said sarcastically. Her crew laughed at the futility of their certain death.
***
Captain Atheta-3 watched the monitor with one cybernetic eye. Her other eye read calculations and battle predictions from every crewmember of the Recursive Function. Everyone was in agreement, this was not going well.
 | |
| Exclusive Image from the attempted prison break provided by Spy Satellite Virgin-Sprint #801 |
Atheta-3 felt a strange emotion she didn’t recognize at first. Oh yes, it was fear. How interesting. She relished the long forgotten emotion for the novelty that it was.
“Reroll has ordered missile launch,” Alpni-89 reported.
“Launch missile,” Atheta-3 confirmed.
She watched sensor reports tick in. Punishment Center Blue had an impressive anti-missile array. Missile after missile homed in on the stationry prison only to be shot down. One missile from Omega Murder Comet made it through to cause superficial structural damage to the prison’s hull.
The crew's collective conscious reached a decision. Boarding was their only hope for mission success. This was Grognard’s assessment as well which was why the plan involved a risky dash to the prison. Atheta-3 made a note on the accuracy of Grognard’s assessment. He was the right choice for fleet leader.
Omega Murder Comet absorbed the bulk of the prison’s return fire. A wing of the pirate ship exploded. Hull damage estimates were made and conclusions were that it was a non-fatal blow.
“Wal-Targ reinforcements have arrived!” reported Delted-21. Classification: Frigate, identification: Synergy. Classification: Destroyer, identification: Monetize. Classification: Destroyer, identification: Assests.”
Atheta-3 ran a risk evaluation. Three ships versus the fleet was a minimal risk. Three ships with the support of the prison was a high risk. Survivability was only 3 percent.
She wondered what conclusion the technologically handicapped Grognard would come to. She prepared mutiny protocols if he gave an unsound command.
“Reroll has ordered the retreat!” Alpni-89 reported.
“Activate jump drives to rendezvous point,” Atheta-3 commanded.
Mission was a failure. Survival was secured. Atheta-3 added these facts to the collective’s debate on the continuation of maintaining this relationship with their pirate partners.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
A Pirate Conference
“Welcome, Captains,” Captain Grognard said to his guests. “I have been approached to do something highly illegal and more importantly, highly profitable.”
That got their attention. Captain Deathspasm pressed a button on his ear to lower the volume of the internal music that was always playing. Captain Ticklepoke was about to comically spill her ale but she paused to hear him out. Captain Atheta-3 turned her head barely ten degrees towards him, which for a cyborg like her, was the equivalent of her leaning forward.
“Our target is this,” Grognard said. He pressed a button and hologram of a giant space prison appeared before them. “Punishment Center Blue is the largest prison under Wal-Targ-3 control. It houses several million criminals. One of those criminals would like to be rescued and he is willing to pay a lot for it.”
“Fact: No one has ever escaped from Punishment Center Blue,” Atheta-3 said.
“That ship has more guns than Candy Carl has cavities,” Captain Ticklepoke said.
“That is one big drokking station,” Captain Deathspasm said.
“Yes, but we have a really big prisoner to save,” Grognard said. He pressed a button and the face of an old man appeared. “Meet Hap Vinnt. He was until recently one a Minister of Purchasing for Wal-Targ-3. He was convicted of embezzling, theft of luxury items, cooperation with pirates and granting employees higher than minimum wage. He has been sentenced to sixteen life sentences and is currently in solitary confinement. He wants to be rescued and I agreed to give it a try.”
“Drok,” Captain Deathspasm said. “That will be suicide.” The way he said it didn’t sound like a complaint but the other two Captains nodded in agreement.
“He is offering 400 MegaCreds if we rescue him,” Grognard said.
Ticklepoke whistled. It was a long whistle that kept going, and going, and going. After a full minute, she sputtered hilariously for air.
“That is a lot of guitars,” Captain Deathspasm said. He was grinning.
“Repeat, no one has ever escaped from Punishment Center Blue?” Atheta-3 said.
“That is good,” Grognard said. “It gives us the element of surprise.”
Atheta-3 stared at him as she read data being beamed directly into her eyes. “Their defenses may be untested and reinforcements could be slow to act.”
“That would buy a lot of guitars,” Deathspasm said again.
“If we manage to break in, we could also steal all those cool looking prison suits!” Ticklepoke said.
“Sure,” Grognard said. If the clown pirate wanted prison suits, she could have them. As long as she added their ship to the fleet, she could grab whatever she wanted.
“Reward outweighs risk,” Atheta-3 said. “My collective will aid you in this objective.”
“We’re going on a prison break!” Ticklepoke said. She clapped and fell out of her chair.
“That would buy a lot of guitars,” Deathspasm said disbelievingly. “And attacking the prison would make for one hell of a song.”
Grognard smiled. “We leave tonight. Let’s go do the impossible.”
That got their attention. Captain Deathspasm pressed a button on his ear to lower the volume of the internal music that was always playing. Captain Ticklepoke was about to comically spill her ale but she paused to hear him out. Captain Atheta-3 turned her head barely ten degrees towards him, which for a cyborg like her, was the equivalent of her leaning forward.
“Our target is this,” Grognard said. He pressed a button and hologram of a giant space prison appeared before them. “Punishment Center Blue is the largest prison under Wal-Targ-3 control. It houses several million criminals. One of those criminals would like to be rescued and he is willing to pay a lot for it.”
“Fact: No one has ever escaped from Punishment Center Blue,” Atheta-3 said.
“That ship has more guns than Candy Carl has cavities,” Captain Ticklepoke said.
“That is one big drokking station,” Captain Deathspasm said.
“Yes, but we have a really big prisoner to save,” Grognard said. He pressed a button and the face of an old man appeared. “Meet Hap Vinnt. He was until recently one a Minister of Purchasing for Wal-Targ-3. He was convicted of embezzling, theft of luxury items, cooperation with pirates and granting employees higher than minimum wage. He has been sentenced to sixteen life sentences and is currently in solitary confinement. He wants to be rescued and I agreed to give it a try.”
“Drok,” Captain Deathspasm said. “That will be suicide.” The way he said it didn’t sound like a complaint but the other two Captains nodded in agreement.
“He is offering 400 MegaCreds if we rescue him,” Grognard said.
Ticklepoke whistled. It was a long whistle that kept going, and going, and going. After a full minute, she sputtered hilariously for air.
“That is a lot of guitars,” Captain Deathspasm said. He was grinning.
“Repeat, no one has ever escaped from Punishment Center Blue?” Atheta-3 said.
“That is good,” Grognard said. “It gives us the element of surprise.”
Atheta-3 stared at him as she read data being beamed directly into her eyes. “Their defenses may be untested and reinforcements could be slow to act.”
“That would buy a lot of guitars,” Deathspasm said again.
“If we manage to break in, we could also steal all those cool looking prison suits!” Ticklepoke said.
“Sure,” Grognard said. If the clown pirate wanted prison suits, she could have them. As long as she added their ship to the fleet, she could grab whatever she wanted.
“Reward outweighs risk,” Atheta-3 said. “My collective will aid you in this objective.”
“We’re going on a prison break!” Ticklepoke said. She clapped and fell out of her chair.
“That would buy a lot of guitars,” Deathspasm said disbelievingly. “And attacking the prison would make for one hell of a song.”
Grognard smiled. “We leave tonight. Let’s go do the impossible.”
Monday, July 14, 2014
Space Pirate Almanac: Cyborg Collectives
Cybernetic implants are quite common among Basic races and for the most part, quite safe. That’s for the most part. When metal implants that regulate your bodily functions malfunction, it is usually in a spectacular and deadly manner.
One hundred years ago, the Lava operating system was the primary operating system of choice for brain enhancement implants. They lost their market share when the infamous Lava version 892.3 update had an unsettling effect on their users. It rewired their neural pathways to be more efficient and logical while also linking other users of the 892.3 update together. This created a new race of similar thinking beings almost over night and one thing they all agreed on was that the laws and society rules they once obeyed were no longer relevant to them.
Lava fixed these problems with the 892.4 update but it was too late. Linked together, the cyborgs went to work creating their own operating systems, one that wasn’t prone to bugs that create new levels of consciousness. Many of the cyborgs formed collectives that worked together to meet common goals. These collectives decided to cut off links to other collectives in order to ensure mission purity.
No one knows for sure how many Cyborg Collectives are currently in operation. The Cyborgs are willing to upgrade volunteer organic creatures who wish to add their collective. Several collectives have grown and splintered as the needs within the collective change. They spread like amoebas through the galaxy seeking like minded individuals.
Some Cyborg Collectives even become pirates. These Cyborgs are usually interested in material wealth and have a well known ruthlessness to their tactics. They have little mercy as they often edit it out of themselves.
One hundred years ago, the Lava operating system was the primary operating system of choice for brain enhancement implants. They lost their market share when the infamous Lava version 892.3 update had an unsettling effect on their users. It rewired their neural pathways to be more efficient and logical while also linking other users of the 892.3 update together. This created a new race of similar thinking beings almost over night and one thing they all agreed on was that the laws and society rules they once obeyed were no longer relevant to them.
Lava fixed these problems with the 892.4 update but it was too late. Linked together, the cyborgs went to work creating their own operating systems, one that wasn’t prone to bugs that create new levels of consciousness. Many of the cyborgs formed collectives that worked together to meet common goals. These collectives decided to cut off links to other collectives in order to ensure mission purity.
No one knows for sure how many Cyborg Collectives are currently in operation. The Cyborgs are willing to upgrade volunteer organic creatures who wish to add their collective. Several collectives have grown and splintered as the needs within the collective change. They spread like amoebas through the galaxy seeking like minded individuals.
Some Cyborg Collectives even become pirates. These Cyborgs are usually interested in material wealth and have a well known ruthlessness to their tactics. They have little mercy as they often edit it out of themselves.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Crypt Ship Aftermath
Quarter Mistress Danica was unusually calm. She was in charge of transforming the pirates’ largest haul ever into nice hard currency. The Tricon in front of her always tried to run a hard deal but Danica wasn’t worried this time. In fact, she was looking forward to his usual complaints.
That was because she had asked Captain Grognard if she could borrow Skippy. The seven foot tall hulking menace towered behind her. His chiseled body bursting with steroid enhancements would be enough to intimidate people but the black executioner’s hood that he wore really finished the look. He was a killing machine just waiting for permission to work his bloody magic and sometimes he didn’t even wait for that.
Unusually, all three heads of the Tricon were awake. The Crypt Ship that the pirates had brought in was a rare find. Everything on board that ship, from the precious metal air ducts to the gem encrusted door handles, was a work of art. It was a traveling treasure vault and except for a few holes from a missile and some laser fire, it was mostly intact. The heads were arguing among themselves as they consulted an expansive list of the ship’s inventory.
The heads stopped talking. The center head looked smug. The right head looked irritated. The one on the left looked exhausted.
“We can offer you 150 MegaCreds,” the head on the left said.
Danica should have been outraged. She just smiled and shook her head.
Skippy growled. He stepped forward, his hands clenching and unclenching.
“Told you,” the head on the right said.
“Hold on!” the head on the left said. “That is a fair price! We’ll have to take this ship apart and sell it piece by piece. That is a lot of man hours and that eats into our overhead!”
Danica said nothing. Skippy took that as permission to take another step towards the Tricon.
“Okay, 200 MegaCreds!” the head on the left said.
“And you’re lucky to get that!” the head in the center said.
Danica’s smile turned into a laugh. “Now you guys are just being greedy. We brought you a fine ship and all we are asking for is a fair price.”
Skippy reached into his pockets and pulled out black gloves. The spikes on the gloves sparkled in the station light.
“225 MegaCreds!” the head on the left said.
“You can’t kill us, we’re the best dealers in the sector for your kind!” the head in the center said. “You kill us and you won’t be able to sell your goods!”
“I don’t mind going to another sector,” Danica said. “If I can’t get a good price for the haul of the century, I don’t need to do business here. Skippy, kill the center head last.”
“275 MegaCreds,” the head on the right said. The head in the center was about to say something but the head on the left glared at him.
“275 MegaCreds AND that Xoeg necklace I saw in your jewelry bay,” Danica said.
“Deal,” all three heads said.
Skippy sighed and took off his gloves.
***
The pirates rack up an amazing 276 points of CV. They will probably never see that much money for quite a while.
The pirates made their Campaign Morale roll and it stays at 4. The Reroll and Omega Murder Comet fail to raise their Reps but Reps of 4 is nothing to dismiss. They are still bad asses.
At 393 CV, they get to spend 200 of it for a roll on the recruitment table. They get a Class 3 Marauder with a Rep 3. Wow, we are up to four ships in the fleet.
***
Captain Grognard’s communicator alarm went off. He took one last look at the board and moved a piece. “Checkdeath,” he said.
“Drok,” his opponent said. She was also the board. She knocked her Commander piece over and it fell down her naked breast. “I guess this one was free.”
“Later, I have an appointment,” Grognard said. He kissed the prostitute goodbye and left her some money.
“I said it was free.”
“I know, the money is for the good game,” Grognard said. Good players should always be appreciated.
Grognard headed out of her compartment and made his way through the station. He had posted a notice on Arris Station’s SpaceBook asking for all interested Pirate Captains to meet him on the Level Three Observation Deck to be interviewed for the honor of joining his pirate fleet.
He expected a lot of applicants. News of the Crypt Ship’s capture had spread quickly through the station. The ease of the capture spread even quicker. Pirates liked money but they loved easy money more.
He reached the doors to the Observation Deck. The smell of fried flesh and burnt blood was in the air. Grognard pulled out a laser pistol and his energy sword. He debated calling for reinforcements from his crew but decided against it. He just won a game of Galactic Chess on a prostitute’s naked chest. Grognard was feeling cocky.
The doors opened and a dozen bodies littered the floor. A blood splatter covered a large portion of the glass wall. One body was struggling to get up but the only standing body walked over and put another laser shot through their head.
Grognard took a good look at the standing person. It might have been a female but it was hard to tell with all the cyber enhancements on her. What he thought was a pistol was actually the woman’s robotic hand. Her bionic eyes zoomed on him and he raised his weapons. He was surprised when she put her weapons down.
“I read your offer for new pirate ships,” the woman said. “Inferior alternatives also read your offer. I assisted in narrowing your options.”
Grognard laughed. “That you did. What’s your name?”
“Atheta-3,” the cyborg said. “I command The Recursive Function.”
“I like your initiative,” Grognard said. “Consider yourself hired. Welcome to my fleet.”
“I will upload our communication protocols to your ship immediately,” Atheta-3 said. “I look forward to assisting in the procurement of material goods.”
“Cool,” Grognard said. “Hey, do you play war games?”
“My brain matter has recently acquired the 6th edition rules for Grimhammer 50K as well as the latest version of Hishen Wars.”
“You are my new favorite pirate,” Grognard said.
That was because she had asked Captain Grognard if she could borrow Skippy. The seven foot tall hulking menace towered behind her. His chiseled body bursting with steroid enhancements would be enough to intimidate people but the black executioner’s hood that he wore really finished the look. He was a killing machine just waiting for permission to work his bloody magic and sometimes he didn’t even wait for that.
Unusually, all three heads of the Tricon were awake. The Crypt Ship that the pirates had brought in was a rare find. Everything on board that ship, from the precious metal air ducts to the gem encrusted door handles, was a work of art. It was a traveling treasure vault and except for a few holes from a missile and some laser fire, it was mostly intact. The heads were arguing among themselves as they consulted an expansive list of the ship’s inventory.
The heads stopped talking. The center head looked smug. The right head looked irritated. The one on the left looked exhausted.
“We can offer you 150 MegaCreds,” the head on the left said.
Danica should have been outraged. She just smiled and shook her head.
Skippy growled. He stepped forward, his hands clenching and unclenching.
“Told you,” the head on the right said.
“Hold on!” the head on the left said. “That is a fair price! We’ll have to take this ship apart and sell it piece by piece. That is a lot of man hours and that eats into our overhead!”
Danica said nothing. Skippy took that as permission to take another step towards the Tricon.
“Okay, 200 MegaCreds!” the head on the left said.
“And you’re lucky to get that!” the head in the center said.
Danica’s smile turned into a laugh. “Now you guys are just being greedy. We brought you a fine ship and all we are asking for is a fair price.”
Skippy reached into his pockets and pulled out black gloves. The spikes on the gloves sparkled in the station light.
“225 MegaCreds!” the head on the left said.
“You can’t kill us, we’re the best dealers in the sector for your kind!” the head in the center said. “You kill us and you won’t be able to sell your goods!”
“I don’t mind going to another sector,” Danica said. “If I can’t get a good price for the haul of the century, I don’t need to do business here. Skippy, kill the center head last.”
“275 MegaCreds,” the head on the right said. The head in the center was about to say something but the head on the left glared at him.
“275 MegaCreds AND that Xoeg necklace I saw in your jewelry bay,” Danica said.
“Deal,” all three heads said.
Skippy sighed and took off his gloves.
***
The pirates rack up an amazing 276 points of CV. They will probably never see that much money for quite a while.
The pirates made their Campaign Morale roll and it stays at 4. The Reroll and Omega Murder Comet fail to raise their Reps but Reps of 4 is nothing to dismiss. They are still bad asses.
At 393 CV, they get to spend 200 of it for a roll on the recruitment table. They get a Class 3 Marauder with a Rep 3. Wow, we are up to four ships in the fleet.
***
Captain Grognard’s communicator alarm went off. He took one last look at the board and moved a piece. “Checkdeath,” he said.
“Drok,” his opponent said. She was also the board. She knocked her Commander piece over and it fell down her naked breast. “I guess this one was free.”
“Later, I have an appointment,” Grognard said. He kissed the prostitute goodbye and left her some money.
“I said it was free.”
“I know, the money is for the good game,” Grognard said. Good players should always be appreciated.
Grognard headed out of her compartment and made his way through the station. He had posted a notice on Arris Station’s SpaceBook asking for all interested Pirate Captains to meet him on the Level Three Observation Deck to be interviewed for the honor of joining his pirate fleet.
He expected a lot of applicants. News of the Crypt Ship’s capture had spread quickly through the station. The ease of the capture spread even quicker. Pirates liked money but they loved easy money more.
He reached the doors to the Observation Deck. The smell of fried flesh and burnt blood was in the air. Grognard pulled out a laser pistol and his energy sword. He debated calling for reinforcements from his crew but decided against it. He just won a game of Galactic Chess on a prostitute’s naked chest. Grognard was feeling cocky.
The doors opened and a dozen bodies littered the floor. A blood splatter covered a large portion of the glass wall. One body was struggling to get up but the only standing body walked over and put another laser shot through their head.
Grognard took a good look at the standing person. It might have been a female but it was hard to tell with all the cyber enhancements on her. What he thought was a pistol was actually the woman’s robotic hand. Her bionic eyes zoomed on him and he raised his weapons. He was surprised when she put her weapons down.
“I read your offer for new pirate ships,” the woman said. “Inferior alternatives also read your offer. I assisted in narrowing your options.”
Grognard laughed. “That you did. What’s your name?”
“Atheta-3,” the cyborg said. “I command The Recursive Function.”
“I like your initiative,” Grognard said. “Consider yourself hired. Welcome to my fleet.”
“I will upload our communication protocols to your ship immediately,” Atheta-3 said. “I look forward to assisting in the procurement of material goods.”
“Cool,” Grognard said. “Hey, do you play war games?”
“My brain matter has recently acquired the 6th edition rules for Grimhammer 50K as well as the latest version of Hishen Wars.”
“You are my new favorite pirate,” Grognard said.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Pgyptiak Financial News
Tragedy struck the Jut family as The Long Sleep was captured by pirates. On board the ship were the remains of the family’s beloved patriarch, Amses Jut the 231st, as well as his vast fortune in which he planned to buy happiness in the next world. Family members and servants who were maintaining the ship on its religious voyage through space were slain as well and their bodies were unrecovered.
The surviving elder member of the Jut family, Qeopatra Jut, had these words to say.
“As the 78th person in line to take over the Jut family business, I never imagined that one day I would command the vast resources of the Jut Food and Edible Clothing Business. I only wished that it could have been under happier circumstances. It is horrifying to think that my dear departed great-grandfather’s soul is now wondering the spiritual plane broke and without a single slave to attend him in the afterlife. When I think of my poor relatives who were also slain aboard the Long Sleep and whose souls are also consigned to a horrible existence, it makes me giggle. My mistake, I meant that it makes me sad.”
Other distant relatives in the Jut family allege that Qeopatra Jut herself may have tipped off pirates to her The Long Sleep’s route. Qeopatra’s lawyer/assassins vehemently deny these charges.
The surviving elder member of the Jut family, Qeopatra Jut, had these words to say.
“As the 78th person in line to take over the Jut family business, I never imagined that one day I would command the vast resources of the Jut Food and Edible Clothing Business. I only wished that it could have been under happier circumstances. It is horrifying to think that my dear departed great-grandfather’s soul is now wondering the spiritual plane broke and without a single slave to attend him in the afterlife. When I think of my poor relatives who were also slain aboard the Long Sleep and whose souls are also consigned to a horrible existence, it makes me giggle. My mistake, I meant that it makes me sad.”
Other distant relatives in the Jut family allege that Qeopatra Jut herself may have tipped off pirates to her The Long Sleep’s route. Qeopatra’s lawyer/assassins vehemently deny these charges.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Crypt Ship Playtest Analysis
I had a few thoughts about the Crypt Ship adventure I play tested.
First of all, my Pirates racked up 269 CV for beating two ships. That seems like way too much treasure at first glance but I started thinking about the very nature of PEF’s in Star Navy. This is a game about asymmetrical fights where every battle can be fair, unfair, or downright ludicrous. That is a big appeal for me. The randomness keeps things interesting.
This adventure came down to the escort roll. That escort roll was a random decider of difficulty. In a normal Patrol mission that you play for Pirates, you’re used to this. Sometimes you encounter a nasty PEF and that’s okay. You just break off as soon as possible and hope the next PEF is nicer. It is like getting spins of the slot machine.
What makes this adventure more dangerous than a normal Patrol mission is that you only get one spin of the slot machine. It is one spin for possibly 300 CV. If you roll up an escort that is too hard to fight, then you go home. You don’t get to roll for more ships and you do not get a chance at the 300 CV.
I like that kind of decision making. It also makes adventures riskier than the patrol mission. Some days you might get lucky and fight off one escort and some days you might get unlucky and face a bigger force. Either way, you got 300 CV waiting for you if you pull it off.
My second thought is on the Crypt Ship itself. I used a Class 4 Tanker’s stats for simplicity sake but I wonder if I should make a more custom layout. Perhaps give it an AA or two. Higher shields make a sort of sense but in this game, just one extra shield can turn something into a tank. I’ll have to think on it.
I enjoyed how the adventure took on a different tone after the escorts were wiped out. Every little hit on the Crypt Ship has the potential to devastate your CV. Once you defeat the escorts, it is not a matter of if you get the CV but how much. One bad missile hit wiped out 30 CV and man, I felt that.
Personally, my favorite part of this experiment was the time involved. Normally when I play a Patrol Mission, I play it all in one sitting. That means I resolve three or more PEF’s in one day. I could break it up to different days but my schedule gets weird sometimes. I average about three to four hours.
This adventure took me less than an hour. Part of that was the fact that I only rolled one escort ship but still, it was really nice to play something to conclusion rather quickly. I got to advance my campaign time table another turn in a single sit-down. That is a huge plus for me.
First of all, my Pirates racked up 269 CV for beating two ships. That seems like way too much treasure at first glance but I started thinking about the very nature of PEF’s in Star Navy. This is a game about asymmetrical fights where every battle can be fair, unfair, or downright ludicrous. That is a big appeal for me. The randomness keeps things interesting.
This adventure came down to the escort roll. That escort roll was a random decider of difficulty. In a normal Patrol mission that you play for Pirates, you’re used to this. Sometimes you encounter a nasty PEF and that’s okay. You just break off as soon as possible and hope the next PEF is nicer. It is like getting spins of the slot machine.
What makes this adventure more dangerous than a normal Patrol mission is that you only get one spin of the slot machine. It is one spin for possibly 300 CV. If you roll up an escort that is too hard to fight, then you go home. You don’t get to roll for more ships and you do not get a chance at the 300 CV.
I like that kind of decision making. It also makes adventures riskier than the patrol mission. Some days you might get lucky and fight off one escort and some days you might get unlucky and face a bigger force. Either way, you got 300 CV waiting for you if you pull it off.
My second thought is on the Crypt Ship itself. I used a Class 4 Tanker’s stats for simplicity sake but I wonder if I should make a more custom layout. Perhaps give it an AA or two. Higher shields make a sort of sense but in this game, just one extra shield can turn something into a tank. I’ll have to think on it.
I enjoyed how the adventure took on a different tone after the escorts were wiped out. Every little hit on the Crypt Ship has the potential to devastate your CV. Once you defeat the escorts, it is not a matter of if you get the CV but how much. One bad missile hit wiped out 30 CV and man, I felt that.
Personally, my favorite part of this experiment was the time involved. Normally when I play a Patrol Mission, I play it all in one sitting. That means I resolve three or more PEF’s in one day. I could break it up to different days but my schedule gets weird sometimes. I average about three to four hours.
This adventure took me less than an hour. Part of that was the fact that I only rolled one escort ship but still, it was really nice to play something to conclusion rather quickly. I got to advance my campaign time table another turn in a single sit-down. That is a huge plus for me.
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