Today we add Captain Ticklepoke to the names at White Skull. We also add the names of the brave crew of The Slapstick. We honor our fellow pirates for their brave lives, outrageous lifestyle choices and their defiance of civilized tyranny. They died fighting fellow pirates on a matter of simply not liking each other. Lawful worlds would consider this a waste of life but we are pirates and not liking someone is reason enough for anything.
Captain Ticklepoke was a good pirate but she was also a great clown. I don’t pretend to understand the people of Juggalon. Their ways are strange to me. Lords of Space, Ticklepoke was strange to me with her orange hair, pale skin and weirdly round nose. But one thing I understand is that Ticklepoke had laughter in her heart and she did her best to share that laughter with the rest of us.
Once we looted a freighter. As we were about to send the crew on their way, Ticklepoke sent over a team of demolition experts to leave stinkbombs at random locations around the ship. She told me the bombs were set to go off at different times, ensuring the crew would be subjected to the smell of rotten eggs for the next two years.
That’s pretty funny.
One time she replaced the water in my hygiene pod with glitter. It was the sticky glitter so for the next week, I kept finding random shiny stars on my skin.
That was less funny to me but it cracked up my crew.
Last night as I was preparing this speech, I received a coded message sent by Ticklepoke. It had recorded during the final moments of Ticklepoke’s life and she sent it by a primitive radio unit. This meant our sensors didn’t pick it up until later. I would like to play it for you now.
“Hey Grognard, I got a joke for you. A bomb says what?”
(Pause)
“Boom!”
(Sound of plasma explosion)
Captain Ticklepoke. Pirate, clown, madwoman and my friend.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Operations Update
August was not a good month for me. My wife and I have been looking for new jobs which can be time consuming. I am also writing a novel and let me say, I picked a heck of a time to be writing anything.
What amuses me more is that most of my regular war-gaming blogs ground to a halt to. Quite a few stopped and those that kept going were limping. Maybe it was a cursed month for all of us.
I will resume operations this week because at this point I need something really fun to do and space piracy hits that itch. I have another adventure idea to playtest and maybe I will squeeze in a normal patrol mission just for kicks.
Originally I thought I would be playing some New Hope 5150 by this point but that has not happened. I also planned to do some painting but writing can be its own beast. 2014 is turning out to be a year about time management.
What amuses me more is that most of my regular war-gaming blogs ground to a halt to. Quite a few stopped and those that kept going were limping. Maybe it was a cursed month for all of us.
I will resume operations this week because at this point I need something really fun to do and space piracy hits that itch. I have another adventure idea to playtest and maybe I will squeeze in a normal patrol mission just for kicks.
Originally I thought I would be playing some New Hope 5150 by this point but that has not happened. I also planned to do some painting but writing can be its own beast. 2014 is turning out to be a year about time management.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Space Pirate Almanac: White Skull
White Skull is an asteroid located in a lawless section of space around the Vemor star. There are no planets there; just several rings of asteroid belts and other debris. People have tried mining the asteroids but the frequent pirate attacks and low mineral wealth of the asteroids make it unprofitable.
Several centuries ago, an unknown pirate captain mourned the loss of his friends. He found a large asteroid and used his ship’s weapons to carve the asteroid into the shape of a skull. He then landed on the asteroid and inscribed the names of his fallen comrades.
Other pirates followed his example. Names of crew, names of captains and names of the ships themselves have been added over the years. Sometimes treasure is left there as tribute but not often. It is bad luck to steal from White Skull but pirates still do.
The area around the White Skull is considered a safe zone among pirates. A pirate caught attacking another pirate while they are in the process of mourning will be hunted down by all other pirates. They will be slaughtered and their names will never go onto the White Skull.
Eighty years ago, a Star Navy Admiral ordered the destruction of White Skull. It was demolished and reduced to atoms. He claimed that it made no sense to allow a monument to piracy.
Pirates from all six rings came in protest. Pirate ships formed fleets with the sole purpose of destroying Star Navy ships. Starbases were destroyed instead of looted, shipping lanes were obliterated and entire planets watched their economies collapsed.
It was known as the Great Pirate Invasion. It was a time or cooperation among pirates despite having no single leader.
The Star Navy had to take desperate measures. They convicted the admiral of “Extreme Vandalism” and gave him a life sentence of imprisonment. Star Navy engineers selected a new, larger asteroid and carved it into the shape of a skull. A Star Navy edict went out declaring the Vemor Star system to be outside their jurisdiction.
The pirates broke apart. They ceased their relentless attacks on the Star Navy and returned to their old hunting grounds. They called the new asteroid White Skull and returned to their practice of inscribing the names of the fallen.
Several centuries ago, an unknown pirate captain mourned the loss of his friends. He found a large asteroid and used his ship’s weapons to carve the asteroid into the shape of a skull. He then landed on the asteroid and inscribed the names of his fallen comrades.
Other pirates followed his example. Names of crew, names of captains and names of the ships themselves have been added over the years. Sometimes treasure is left there as tribute but not often. It is bad luck to steal from White Skull but pirates still do.
The area around the White Skull is considered a safe zone among pirates. A pirate caught attacking another pirate while they are in the process of mourning will be hunted down by all other pirates. They will be slaughtered and their names will never go onto the White Skull.
Eighty years ago, a Star Navy Admiral ordered the destruction of White Skull. It was demolished and reduced to atoms. He claimed that it made no sense to allow a monument to piracy.
Pirates from all six rings came in protest. Pirate ships formed fleets with the sole purpose of destroying Star Navy ships. Starbases were destroyed instead of looted, shipping lanes were obliterated and entire planets watched their economies collapsed.
It was known as the Great Pirate Invasion. It was a time or cooperation among pirates despite having no single leader.
The Star Navy had to take desperate measures. They convicted the admiral of “Extreme Vandalism” and gave him a life sentence of imprisonment. Star Navy engineers selected a new, larger asteroid and carved it into the shape of a skull. A Star Navy edict went out declaring the Vemor Star system to be outside their jurisdiction.
The pirates broke apart. They ceased their relentless attacks on the Star Navy and returned to their old hunting grounds. They called the new asteroid White Skull and returned to their practice of inscribing the names of the fallen.
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