“Hi kids, I’m Lt. Buddy, your Space Navy friend! What are you doing today?”
“Hi Lt. Buddy! We’re thinking about joining Space Pirates! They do cool things and they get paid a lot!”
“Oh no, kids, that is a bad idea! Space Pirates are not cool at all.”
“What do you mean, Lt. Buddy? I thought pirates get all the girls!”
“They only get the bad girls, kids. They get the bad girls and they get Space Herpes which make you poop your insides out.”
“Oh wow! But they save dogs and save the world, right, Lt. Buddy?”
“No, kids, they don’t! Space Pirates are a drain on the economy by disrupting the chain of production. They promote bad hygiene by not following spaceship protocols and cause plagues to break out on worlds that harbor them. Space Pirates often kidnap small children and make them do horrible things to their special things.”
“Oh my gosh, Lt. Buddy!”
“It’s true, kids. So if you see a space pirate, what should you do?”
“We should report them to the authorities using our local government sanctioned communication channels!”
“That’s right, kids! I’m Lt. Buddy and I’m from the Space Navy so you can trust me!”
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Ten Rumors Heard Aboard the Reroll
1. Captain Grognard will hand over the Captain’s seat to anyone who can beat him in the supertank simulation game of TROLL.
2. There is an alien xenoform loose in the air duct that loves the taste of tongues soaked in rum. Never drink alone or you might wake up with your tongue ripped out!
3. Zhu Zhu will surrender right away if you offer them a fruit.
4. Star Navy ships are offering amnesty for pirates but the Captain doesn’t want us to know.
5. Vanthony Cordain, the ship’ cook, has a treasure map but you can only read it if you dip it into his secret sauce.
6. Half the controls on the Missile Targeting panels don’t really do anything.
7. A ghost of a dead Star Navy officer haunts the sensor room but he isn’t dangerous. He just likes to watch.
8. Anytime that silent freak Skippy is assigned to a boarding party, one of the boarding party doesn’t come back. That counts even when we don’t board anybody!
9. This ship was a secret payroll transport for the Star Navy before the mutiny. Somewhere on board is a thousand MegaCreds locked in a safe!
10. By the Lord of Space, do NOT use the restrooms on Deck Six.
2. There is an alien xenoform loose in the air duct that loves the taste of tongues soaked in rum. Never drink alone or you might wake up with your tongue ripped out!
3. Zhu Zhu will surrender right away if you offer them a fruit.
4. Star Navy ships are offering amnesty for pirates but the Captain doesn’t want us to know.
5. Vanthony Cordain, the ship’ cook, has a treasure map but you can only read it if you dip it into his secret sauce.
6. Half the controls on the Missile Targeting panels don’t really do anything.
7. A ghost of a dead Star Navy officer haunts the sensor room but he isn’t dangerous. He just likes to watch.
8. Anytime that silent freak Skippy is assigned to a boarding party, one of the boarding party doesn’t come back. That counts even when we don’t board anybody!
9. This ship was a secret payroll transport for the Star Navy before the mutiny. Somewhere on board is a thousand MegaCreds locked in a safe!
10. By the Lord of Space, do NOT use the restrooms on Deck Six.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Return of the Reroll: Aftermath
Welcome to the paperwork phase of Star navy! Luckily, the paperwork phase of Star Navy is fast and easy. First though, I check to see if my own Rep goes up. I roll a single die and I have to get above my current Rep of 4. I roll a six and let out a piratey cheer! These bastard have finally learned something.
***
“Hey Stabbin Rory! I’m glad to see you back in port! I have a bunch of new holovids that you will love! I got Cybercop! I got Star Vampire Academy! I got the latest reboot of Arachind-Man!”
“What’s this one here? The one with the Star Navy logo?”
“That? You don’t want that. It’s just a training vid for targeting arrays. I don’t know why I even have it out front like this. No one buys these things except Navy wannabes.”
“I’ll take it. We destroyed a Star Navy Carrier recently and it got me to thinking that maybe I should learn what all the buttons on my console actually do, you know? Like, what does the prograde button do on my missile console?
“I have no idea. Okay, you’re buying that then. You still want Arachnid-Man?”
“Heck yeah, I can’t wait to see how Petro Paz turns into Arachnid-Man this time!”
***
Quarter Mistress Danica prepared herself for outrage. It was her job to sell the loot that the pirates had stolen but it was a poor haul. Ice was not exactly a rare commodity and the two cargo bays of TEGO Holovid toy tie-ins were not what pirates dream about capturing.
The Tricon passed her a datapad. The middle head was sleeping but the two heads on either side looked nervous. She read the datapad and reached for her laser pistol.
“Are you drekking me?” Danica screamed. “80 Megacreds? I can’t take this back to my Captain! We fought a damn battlecruiser!”
“Hey, I hear you,” the head on the right side. “The TEGO toys are good but ice doesn’t sell like it used to since the outbreak of Space Herpes wiped out most of the Ice Pirates. I can give you 80 MegCreds and 8 more in store credit.”
“Lords of Space,” Danica swore.
The middle head grumbled but kept snoring.
“Hey, I would take that offer,” the head on the left said. He gestured with his hand to the middle head. “Especially before he wakes up.”
Danica took the offer but she kept one of the TEGO toys for herself.
***
I only picked up 88 cargo value on this mission but I had 188 left over from the last mission for a total of 276. This is enough to get a roll on the recruitment table.
***
Captain Grognard finished his mug of rum and let out a hearty burp. A crowd of pirates and doxies were hanging on his every word as he recounted the fearsome battle with the Star Navy. Life was good.
“So this mug will represent my hip, The Reroll,” he said as he set the mug down on the table. “This turducken wing will represent the freighter we were chasing. We were set up like this when all of a sudden, this Dreadnought showed up. We’ll use this plate to represent the Dreadnought.”
There was a honking noise and the crowd around Grognard quickly dispersed. He looked up to see a woman who had been genetically altered to have pasty white skin and frizzy orange hair. She squeezed the red bulb of her cyber-nose again and let out another honk.
“Are you the same Grognard who injured The Atlanta?” the clown asked.
“Yep,” Grognard said. Her choose his words carefully. She was from the planet of Giggles, a notorious planet known for their insane clown cult.
“Good,” the clown woman said. She blew up a balloon and twisted it into a rather remarkable facsimile of a space ship. She gave it to Grognard.
“Err, thank you?” Grognard said.
“The Atlanta killed my last partner,” the clown woman said. “My name is Captain Ticklepoke and we have hit rough times. We haven’t made a good score in a long time. We can barely afford cream for our pies.”
“That is rough,” Captain Grognard said. He was hoping other pirates would join him but he hadn’t counted on clowns. “What is the name of your ship?”
“The Slapstick,” Captain Ticklepoke said.
“Of course it is,” Captain Grognard said. “Consider yourself a member of the fleet!”
Captain Peaches sat down and fell dramatically out of her chair.
***
I got two successes on the recruitment table. A d6 roll later and I found that I had hired a Class 3 Marauder with a Rep of 4. 1 gun and 1 missile don’t give me much hope but the 2 shields are nice. If nothing else, concentrated fire will help me crack the tougher ships.
Slowly but surely, my pirate fleet is growing.
***
“Hey Stabbin Rory! I’m glad to see you back in port! I have a bunch of new holovids that you will love! I got Cybercop! I got Star Vampire Academy! I got the latest reboot of Arachind-Man!”
“What’s this one here? The one with the Star Navy logo?”
“That? You don’t want that. It’s just a training vid for targeting arrays. I don’t know why I even have it out front like this. No one buys these things except Navy wannabes.”
“I’ll take it. We destroyed a Star Navy Carrier recently and it got me to thinking that maybe I should learn what all the buttons on my console actually do, you know? Like, what does the prograde button do on my missile console?
“I have no idea. Okay, you’re buying that then. You still want Arachnid-Man?”
“Heck yeah, I can’t wait to see how Petro Paz turns into Arachnid-Man this time!”
***
Quarter Mistress Danica prepared herself for outrage. It was her job to sell the loot that the pirates had stolen but it was a poor haul. Ice was not exactly a rare commodity and the two cargo bays of TEGO Holovid toy tie-ins were not what pirates dream about capturing.
The Tricon passed her a datapad. The middle head was sleeping but the two heads on either side looked nervous. She read the datapad and reached for her laser pistol.
“Are you drekking me?” Danica screamed. “80 Megacreds? I can’t take this back to my Captain! We fought a damn battlecruiser!”
“Hey, I hear you,” the head on the right side. “The TEGO toys are good but ice doesn’t sell like it used to since the outbreak of Space Herpes wiped out most of the Ice Pirates. I can give you 80 MegCreds and 8 more in store credit.”
“Lords of Space,” Danica swore.
The middle head grumbled but kept snoring.
“Hey, I would take that offer,” the head on the left said. He gestured with his hand to the middle head. “Especially before he wakes up.”
Danica took the offer but she kept one of the TEGO toys for herself.
***
I only picked up 88 cargo value on this mission but I had 188 left over from the last mission for a total of 276. This is enough to get a roll on the recruitment table.
***
Captain Grognard finished his mug of rum and let out a hearty burp. A crowd of pirates and doxies were hanging on his every word as he recounted the fearsome battle with the Star Navy. Life was good.
“So this mug will represent my hip, The Reroll,” he said as he set the mug down on the table. “This turducken wing will represent the freighter we were chasing. We were set up like this when all of a sudden, this Dreadnought showed up. We’ll use this plate to represent the Dreadnought.”
There was a honking noise and the crowd around Grognard quickly dispersed. He looked up to see a woman who had been genetically altered to have pasty white skin and frizzy orange hair. She squeezed the red bulb of her cyber-nose again and let out another honk.
“Are you the same Grognard who injured The Atlanta?” the clown asked.
“Yep,” Grognard said. Her choose his words carefully. She was from the planet of Giggles, a notorious planet known for their insane clown cult.
“Good,” the clown woman said. She blew up a balloon and twisted it into a rather remarkable facsimile of a space ship. She gave it to Grognard.
“Err, thank you?” Grognard said.
“The Atlanta killed my last partner,” the clown woman said. “My name is Captain Ticklepoke and we have hit rough times. We haven’t made a good score in a long time. We can barely afford cream for our pies.”
“That is rough,” Captain Grognard said. He was hoping other pirates would join him but he hadn’t counted on clowns. “What is the name of your ship?”
“The Slapstick,” Captain Ticklepoke said.
“Of course it is,” Captain Grognard said. “Consider yourself a member of the fleet!”
Captain Peaches sat down and fell dramatically out of her chair.
***
I got two successes on the recruitment table. A d6 roll later and I found that I had hired a Class 3 Marauder with a Rep of 4. 1 gun and 1 missile don’t give me much hope but the 2 shields are nice. If nothing else, concentrated fire will help me crack the tougher ships.
Slowly but surely, my pirate fleet is growing.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Return of the Reroll Part Three
Attention: Images from Spy Satellite Virgin-Sprint #998 were not available due to Cosmic Wind Vortex interference.
Captain Grognard put down the holo-miniature. It was the latest War Hussy hologram from Dystopiafree Miniatures but his heart just wasn’t in it. The pirate captain turned off his game of All Thing Bioplague and sat back in his chair.
He was depressed. He took over this ship with grand dreams of capturing merchant ships and daring battles with the Star Navy. Well, he only encountered the Navy once and he ran away. He knew it was the right move but no one ever wrote glowing stories about the time a pirate did a cunning retreat.
Captain Grognard wanted glory. He wanted a good fight with a smart enemy. Most of all he wanted a close spaceship fight that would impress the cyber-prostitutes in every brothel in the sector.
The Captain’s communicator buzzed. It was from Isis on scanners.
“Captain, we have reached that blip I was telling you about. It is a Class 4 Zhuh-Zhuh Tanker. Name protocol, Snarling Purse.”
“Hmm,” Captain Grognard said. “Set an intercept course, I’ll be right there.”
The captain’s mood improved. The cyber-prostitutes liked war stories but what they really loved was money.
***
This is part three of my second patrol as a space pirate. We have our first alien encounter, the apish Zhuh-Zhuh!
The Tanker has a Rep of 3 so this should be an easy fight. They only get 2 successes on their long range scans and so do the pirates. For the first time, the pirates win activation!
We start at 48 inches away but the pirates quickly close that gap. At 13 inches away, the pirates get impatient and fires guns before getting within missile range. We get one success for one gun pinging off the Tanker’s shield.
The Tanker fires concentrated guns for no success. The Tanker does call for help and holy crap, they get some help! A Class 3 Destroyer with a Rep of 4 arrives this turn!
***
“Captain! Sensors detect a Star Navy ship! It is a Class 3 Destroyer, The Atlanta!”
Captain Grognard stood up from his chair. The Atlanta had been part of the squad that had chased them off a week ago! This was his chance at glory!
“Keep attacking the Snarling Purse! I want them crippled before we deal with The Atlanta!”
***
The Destroyer is on the other side of the table so the pirates have a little bit of time. The pirates close to within 8 inches and unloads with their guns. They get two successes to crack through the one shield but sadly they hit the Tanker’s non-existent missiles.
The pirates unleash their very existent missiles. The Tanker actually dodges one but the other missile smacks into their hull for one point. These apes know how to move!
The Tanker and the Destroyer concentrate fire on the pirates. The merchants suck at shooting bring the results down to nothing.
The pirates decide on a new strategy. They fire missiles at the tanker and guns at the destroyer.
The Tanker fails to evade this time. One missile hits the life support while the other missile takes down the one shield.
The pirates fire guns at the Destroyer. They manage to get 2 successes which results in one gun getting through shields. Sadly, it hits the Destroyer’s lack of AAR.
Man, pirates really suck at targeting.
The Tanker does 2 Received Damage Tests. It passes the loss of shields but fails the life support hit. They surrender!
The Destroyer makes their Received Damage Test.
***
“Captain, the Snarling Purse wishes to surrender!”
“Tell them to stay put!” Captain Grognard yelled. His heart was thumping. They had survived so far but now it was time to man up and roll the dice.
“Set a course for The Atlanta! Fire at will!”
***
The Destroyer heads for the pirates. They fire with no hits.
The Reroll heads for the pirates. They fire guns but can’t get through the shields.
The Destroyer closes in. Their guns miss but now they are within missile range. The Reroll manages to evade both missiles!
The Reroll fires guns. They crack through the one shield to hit the missiles for a whopping 4 point. The Destroyer’s missiles are toast!
The Reroll fire missiles and one hit to damage the hull.
The Destroyer at this point has one gun that can’t get through the Pirates’ shields. They wisely jump out.
***
“They’re retreating!” A cry of joy went through the pirate bridge!
Captain Grognard laughed. It wasn’t a kill or a capture, but it was still a win against military forces! He was starting to feel like a real pirate Captain.
He sat down in his chair and basked in the glow of a good win. He was already thinking of getting back to his quarters to play a game of All Things Bioplague.
***
The Tanker made their surrender test so I guess no one cracks a monkey joke and everything goes okay.
The cargo seized is as follows.
Six of the cargo bays are commodities for a value of 4cv each for a total of 24 cv.
Two of the bays however are goods for a value of 12 each for a total of 24 cv.
48 Cv is all we get for this haul but hey, we also get bragging right for driving off The Atlanta! By the time the pirates get to port, that Destroyer will be have grown to be a Dreadnought.
Captain Grognard put down the holo-miniature. It was the latest War Hussy hologram from Dystopiafree Miniatures but his heart just wasn’t in it. The pirate captain turned off his game of All Thing Bioplague and sat back in his chair.
He was depressed. He took over this ship with grand dreams of capturing merchant ships and daring battles with the Star Navy. Well, he only encountered the Navy once and he ran away. He knew it was the right move but no one ever wrote glowing stories about the time a pirate did a cunning retreat.
Captain Grognard wanted glory. He wanted a good fight with a smart enemy. Most of all he wanted a close spaceship fight that would impress the cyber-prostitutes in every brothel in the sector.
The Captain’s communicator buzzed. It was from Isis on scanners.
“Captain, we have reached that blip I was telling you about. It is a Class 4 Zhuh-Zhuh Tanker. Name protocol, Snarling Purse.”
“Hmm,” Captain Grognard said. “Set an intercept course, I’ll be right there.”
The captain’s mood improved. The cyber-prostitutes liked war stories but what they really loved was money.
***
This is part three of my second patrol as a space pirate. We have our first alien encounter, the apish Zhuh-Zhuh!
The Tanker has a Rep of 3 so this should be an easy fight. They only get 2 successes on their long range scans and so do the pirates. For the first time, the pirates win activation!
We start at 48 inches away but the pirates quickly close that gap. At 13 inches away, the pirates get impatient and fires guns before getting within missile range. We get one success for one gun pinging off the Tanker’s shield.
The Tanker fires concentrated guns for no success. The Tanker does call for help and holy crap, they get some help! A Class 3 Destroyer with a Rep of 4 arrives this turn!
***
“Captain! Sensors detect a Star Navy ship! It is a Class 3 Destroyer, The Atlanta!”
Captain Grognard stood up from his chair. The Atlanta had been part of the squad that had chased them off a week ago! This was his chance at glory!
“Keep attacking the Snarling Purse! I want them crippled before we deal with The Atlanta!”
***
The Destroyer is on the other side of the table so the pirates have a little bit of time. The pirates close to within 8 inches and unloads with their guns. They get two successes to crack through the one shield but sadly they hit the Tanker’s non-existent missiles.
The pirates unleash their very existent missiles. The Tanker actually dodges one but the other missile smacks into their hull for one point. These apes know how to move!
The Tanker and the Destroyer concentrate fire on the pirates. The merchants suck at shooting bring the results down to nothing.
The pirates decide on a new strategy. They fire missiles at the tanker and guns at the destroyer.
The Tanker fails to evade this time. One missile hits the life support while the other missile takes down the one shield.
The pirates fire guns at the Destroyer. They manage to get 2 successes which results in one gun getting through shields. Sadly, it hits the Destroyer’s lack of AAR.
Man, pirates really suck at targeting.
The Tanker does 2 Received Damage Tests. It passes the loss of shields but fails the life support hit. They surrender!
The Destroyer makes their Received Damage Test.
***
“Captain, the Snarling Purse wishes to surrender!”
“Tell them to stay put!” Captain Grognard yelled. His heart was thumping. They had survived so far but now it was time to man up and roll the dice.
“Set a course for The Atlanta! Fire at will!”
***
The Destroyer heads for the pirates. They fire with no hits.
The Reroll heads for the pirates. They fire guns but can’t get through the shields.
The Destroyer closes in. Their guns miss but now they are within missile range. The Reroll manages to evade both missiles!
The Reroll fires guns. They crack through the one shield to hit the missiles for a whopping 4 point. The Destroyer’s missiles are toast!
The Reroll fire missiles and one hit to damage the hull.
The Destroyer at this point has one gun that can’t get through the Pirates’ shields. They wisely jump out.
***
“They’re retreating!” A cry of joy went through the pirate bridge!
Captain Grognard laughed. It wasn’t a kill or a capture, but it was still a win against military forces! He was starting to feel like a real pirate Captain.
He sat down in his chair and basked in the glow of a good win. He was already thinking of getting back to his quarters to play a game of All Things Bioplague.
***
The Tanker made their surrender test so I guess no one cracks a monkey joke and everything goes okay.
The cargo seized is as follows.
Six of the cargo bays are commodities for a value of 4cv each for a total of 24 cv.
Two of the bays however are goods for a value of 12 each for a total of 24 cv.
48 Cv is all we get for this haul but hey, we also get bragging right for driving off The Atlanta! By the time the pirates get to port, that Destroyer will be have grown to be a Dreadnought.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Return of the Reroll Part Two
Attention: Images from Spy Satellite Virgin-Sprint #998 were not available due to Cosmic Wind Vortex interference.
Anderson awoke to the sound of the battle alarm. He scrambled out of hi bunk and grabbed his pants. He had no idea what time it was but he knew that he was on Boarding Duty again so he better get his ass down to the airlock.
“Attention! The Socchi Grift has been spotted! Standby for boarding action!”
Anderson debated putting on shoes or just running to the airlock. That was when he saw a shadow move in the darkness of his cabin. He scrambled for the light switch and flicked it on. He screamed like a merchant when he saw what was there.
A man wearing a thong and black hood stood in his room. Muscles rippled along his shoulders as he shrugged.
“Lords of Space!” Anderson yelled. “What are you doing in my quarters, Skippy?”
The hooded man said nothing and walked out the door. Anderson knew where he was going. Skippy was on airlock duty too.
“Creepy psycho pirate freak,” Anderson swore.
***
Welcome to part two of my second AAR. In the last episode, the pirate ship, The Reroll encountered three military vessels and ran away before they could loot the Grand Freighter that they were crippling. The pirates were annoyed by this cruel twist of fortune and hope that the next PEF will be more profitable.
As luck would have it, they found a Class 4 Tanker, The Socchi Grift. Well, it is not a Grand Freighter but pirates can’t be choosers.
Long Range scans are conducted and the merchants kick butt with a total of four successes to the pirates’ two. Man, pirates really need a cloaking device.
Starting distance is 72 inches away. The Reroll spends a few turns closing in while The Socchi Grift hopes that the heavily armed ship that is coming right for them is friendly.
The Reroll closes to within 9 inches and opens fire with their guns and missles. My plan is to injure the ship before attempting a boarding action.
I get one success for the guns which means only one gun bounces off the Tanker’s one shield.
The missiles do much better. The Socchi Grift fails to evade both missiles. Both missiles explode into the hull for a total of two points of damage. Barely a scratch.
The funny thing about scratches is that Merchants don’t like them. They fail their Received Damage test and their Rep drops to 2. This is enough to trigger surrender!
Well now, that was easy.
I roll for the Merchants surrender and they fail both dice again. Uh-oh. The result is that all of the cargo is seized, the crew is captured and the ship is destroyed! Man, the merchants couldn’t even surrender right without pissing off the pirates.
***
Anderson sneered at the shivering merchant crew. They were terrified and scared out of their wits. Many of them had soiled themselves and one of them kept burping in fear. Anderson had never seen anything like it.
“Quit your crying!” he yelled. “We’re just going to take your goods and you can go on your way!”
“Attention! Fatal breach in the engine room! Evacuate immediately! Ship destruction will occur in three minutes. Please gather any personal belongings at this time.”
The captured crewmen wailed in despair.
“What the drek?” Anderson said. He didn’t know of any orders to scuttle the ship.
A door opened and Skippy walked out. In one hand he was carrying a wrench that dripped with blood. In the other hand he was carrying an engineer’s manual. The manual was soaked in blood too.
“Did you just murder a ship?” Anderson yelled.
Skippy dropped the wrench and headed to the airlock with the manual. Anderson knew that Skippy was going to add it to his box of trophies.
***
Before the destruction of The Socchi Grift, let’s see what cargo we picked up.
Bay 1 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 2 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 3 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 4 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 5 – goods for cv 12
Bay 6 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 7 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 8 – commodities for cv 4
That is a measly 40 cargo value. Pirating ain’t easy.
I make my After the Battle rolls and The Reroll is ship shape for more battles. Hopefully that last PEF will be more profitable.
Anderson awoke to the sound of the battle alarm. He scrambled out of hi bunk and grabbed his pants. He had no idea what time it was but he knew that he was on Boarding Duty again so he better get his ass down to the airlock.
“Attention! The Socchi Grift has been spotted! Standby for boarding action!”
Anderson debated putting on shoes or just running to the airlock. That was when he saw a shadow move in the darkness of his cabin. He scrambled for the light switch and flicked it on. He screamed like a merchant when he saw what was there.
A man wearing a thong and black hood stood in his room. Muscles rippled along his shoulders as he shrugged.
“Lords of Space!” Anderson yelled. “What are you doing in my quarters, Skippy?”
The hooded man said nothing and walked out the door. Anderson knew where he was going. Skippy was on airlock duty too.
“Creepy psycho pirate freak,” Anderson swore.
***
Welcome to part two of my second AAR. In the last episode, the pirate ship, The Reroll encountered three military vessels and ran away before they could loot the Grand Freighter that they were crippling. The pirates were annoyed by this cruel twist of fortune and hope that the next PEF will be more profitable.
As luck would have it, they found a Class 4 Tanker, The Socchi Grift. Well, it is not a Grand Freighter but pirates can’t be choosers.
Long Range scans are conducted and the merchants kick butt with a total of four successes to the pirates’ two. Man, pirates really need a cloaking device.
Starting distance is 72 inches away. The Reroll spends a few turns closing in while The Socchi Grift hopes that the heavily armed ship that is coming right for them is friendly.
The Reroll closes to within 9 inches and opens fire with their guns and missles. My plan is to injure the ship before attempting a boarding action.
I get one success for the guns which means only one gun bounces off the Tanker’s one shield.
The missiles do much better. The Socchi Grift fails to evade both missiles. Both missiles explode into the hull for a total of two points of damage. Barely a scratch.
The funny thing about scratches is that Merchants don’t like them. They fail their Received Damage test and their Rep drops to 2. This is enough to trigger surrender!
Well now, that was easy.
I roll for the Merchants surrender and they fail both dice again. Uh-oh. The result is that all of the cargo is seized, the crew is captured and the ship is destroyed! Man, the merchants couldn’t even surrender right without pissing off the pirates.
***
Anderson sneered at the shivering merchant crew. They were terrified and scared out of their wits. Many of them had soiled themselves and one of them kept burping in fear. Anderson had never seen anything like it.
“Quit your crying!” he yelled. “We’re just going to take your goods and you can go on your way!”
“Attention! Fatal breach in the engine room! Evacuate immediately! Ship destruction will occur in three minutes. Please gather any personal belongings at this time.”
The captured crewmen wailed in despair.
“What the drek?” Anderson said. He didn’t know of any orders to scuttle the ship.
A door opened and Skippy walked out. In one hand he was carrying a wrench that dripped with blood. In the other hand he was carrying an engineer’s manual. The manual was soaked in blood too.
“Did you just murder a ship?” Anderson yelled.
Skippy dropped the wrench and headed to the airlock with the manual. Anderson knew that Skippy was going to add it to his box of trophies.
***
Before the destruction of The Socchi Grift, let’s see what cargo we picked up.
Bay 1 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 2 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 3 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 4 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 5 – goods for cv 12
Bay 6 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 7 – commodities for cv 4
Bay 8 – commodities for cv 4
That is a measly 40 cargo value. Pirating ain’t easy.
I make my After the Battle rolls and The Reroll is ship shape for more battles. Hopefully that last PEF will be more profitable.
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