Capture of The Long Sleep!

“Go, into the vacuum.
Go there, die there.
We reject your right to air.
We enjoy your dying stare.”

Captain Grognard found himself singing along to the transmission from Omega Murder Comet. The pirates wrote and performed their own music and it was quite catchy. Grognard had never heard a hundred electric guitars before and it was invigorating. For some reason, Grognard had an urge to wear more black t-shirts.

“Crypt Ship has been located!” announced Isis on sensors. “It identifies as The Long Sleep.”

Grognard muted the music. “What kind of escorts do they have?”

“A single Blackwater Frigate,” Isis reported. “It identifies as the Hasan.”

“Hmm,” Grognard said. “Blackwater is one of the more ruthless mercenary companies. Those guys would kill their grandmother and charge their parents for the bullets. Just one, you said?”

“Aye,” Isis said.

Grognard pushed a button. The sweating hulking form of Captain Deathspasm appeared on his personal viewer. Grognard waited until Deathspasm was done howling the end of the song.

“Deathspasm, we found the Crypt Ship. Let’s go knock out their bodyguard.”

Deathspasm nodded and lifted his battle-microphone.

“Into battle, RIDE!”

***
Today’s AAR involves playtesting one of my adventures for Star navy. The scenario is Crypt Ship. It has a rather limited ship loaded with treasure traveling in a straight line protected by escorts. My pirate force consists of 2 Class 4 Ravagers. The main thing to note is that the Crypt Ship is so valuable that any time it takes damage, it loses some of its 300 Cargo Value.

First thing I did was roll up the escorts. A low roll got me the result of “Two Less Than Player Force”. This meant the poor Crypt Ship only got a single escort.

Another roll determined that the lone escort was a mere Class 3 Free Company Frigate. On the up side, it has a Rep 5. I am sure the crew is very plucky.

Initial long range scans were sad for everyone. Starting distance was 36 inches and head on.

***
“The Hasan has left formation and is headed for us. The Hasan and The Long Sleep are concentrating their fire on us.”

Captain Grognard caught himself humming the guitar solo of “Go into the Vacuum. “Open fire on The Hasan. Tell the Omega Murder Comet to do the same. Man, that is a mouthful. Let’s just call them Omega.”

***
Concentrated fire from the Crypt Ship and Frigate was sad. A combined 2 guns against 3 shields is a long shot. As long as a shot that it is, it still has a miniscule chance of taking down a shield which at least makes every roll important. They failed but hey, they had a chance.

Funny enough, the Pirate ships had to combine fire to get through the Frigate’s shields and they stood a much better chance. They failed, but they had a chance.

Next turn, the frigate got closer, tried concentrated fire and failed. The pirates then got closer, and were within missile range. The Reroll fired two missiles, both of which hit. One missile destroyed the Frigate’s shields and the other missile hit the sheilds that no longer existed.

The Reroll then let loose with their guns. One gun hits the Frigate’s engine and the other chipped away at the Hull.

The Frigate fails their received damage test and loses a point of Rep. The crew is no longer as plucky! The Frigate then fails their engine damage test and decide that they are done with this lopsided battle.

***
Grognard watched the explosions ripple across The Hasan. The shield flickered off and something important looking was now drifting behind the ship. The frigate wobbled and seemed to veer to port uncontrollably. Seconds later, The Hasan vanished as it activated their jump drives.

The bridge crew cheered. Grognard allowed himself a smile. Nothing left now put to capture that golden prize headed right for them.”

***
Already the Crypt Ship is alone. With one gun and one shield, it is hardly a threat. The real challenge is that any damage it takes reduces the value of the ship. It is a Class 4 Tanker so boarding it is not a guarantee that the Class Four Ravagers would automatically win. I decide to fire a few shots and see if maybe I can get lucky with a bridge or engine hit.

****
“Gunner, soften up The Long Sleep and encourage them to take a nap,” Grognard ordered.

The gunner stared back at him, trying to work out Grognard’s tortured metaphor. He gave up and activated the missiles.

Grognard watched with satisfaction as the missiles closed in on the slow moving Crypt Ship. He chuckled as the awkward ship failed to evade. He laughed as plasma exploded within the Crypt Ship.

His laugh died as he saw thousands of glittering precious items get sucked into the vacuum of space from a hole in the ship.

“Uh, we hit one of the cargo bays,” someone reported.

***
Sigh. First missile launch and I take out a cargo bay. There goes 30 CV right there.

The guns fire and I manage to get a hit on the Crypt Ship’s guns. That reduces their own weapon to zero and the CV to 269. I decide that maybe it is time to stop damaging the really valuable ship.

***
“Captain Deathspasm? How would you like to be the first to board the Crypt Ship and claim our prize?” Grognard did his best to make it sound as awesome as possible.

It wasn’t necessary. Captain Deathspasm screamed so loud that his Mohawk shook. “It would be an honor! I will lead the charge myself!”

“Good for you!” Grognard replied. He knew how nasty boarding actions were. Better the new guys than his crew.

***
The Crypt Ship moves forward two inches every turn. That is it. It isn’t allowed to maneuver. It is a slow moving duck that just requires the pirates to match speed and direction in order to board.

Of course, this takes me close to eight turns to pull off. Coming to a full stop, pivoting 180 degrees and then catching up took me way too long. I am starting to believe that shooting and taking damage is important but man, not as nearly as getting your ships to go where they need to go. I feel like I need flight lessons.

Omega Murder Comet has the ‘honor’ of attempting the first boarding. What is the point of being the commander of a pirate fleet if you can’t make others take the risks?

The pirates had no troubles. They rolled 6 success to the Crypt Ship’s 2 and took command of the ship. Sadly for the crew of the Crypt Ship, they completely botch their surrender roll and their corpses were added to the debris littering this sector of space.

***
Captain Grognard slowly walked the halls of The Long Sleep. The smell of ritual incense was thick in the air which was good because it covered the smell of blood and laser fire. He stopped to admire a ventilation screen that looked to be made of polished silver.

“Captain! I found a toilet seat made of pure platinum! Can I keep it?”

Grognard shook his head at the excited crewman. “Sorry, Alez. We’re taking the whole ship to a dealer. There will be no golden thrones for you but you’ll have enough credits to wipe your butt with them if you want.”

Pirate life was getting better every day.

Shipper Feed from the Reroll

Reroll Shipper Feed

AlezBii: We’re finally leaving port! Woot! I hope we get some phat loot soon! #loot #piratelife

Skippy: The blood of the merchant will flow between my fingers.

OldHank: Hardcore @Skippy. And creepy.

KarentheKnife: I heard a rumor in the mess today that we’re not going after merchant ships. Supposedly we’re hunting down some band that ticked off our partners, those indie guys at Omega Murder Storm.

Uno: That would suck. I signed on to make money, not settle old scores.  We barely know these Alpha Murder Comet freaks. #loot

Skippy: Blood is blood and it will flow by my hand.

IsisEyes: That’s not true, @KarentheKnife. We are enroute to intercept a Pygptiak ship.

SherriVoon: What the drok is a Pygptiak? Do they have money? #loot

DannyLaser: Those are those dead guys who roam space in cryo frozen ships and murder people for kicks. We shouldn’t mess with those guys! #loot #piratesrule

OldHank: That is an old spaceship myth, @DannyLaser. Pygptiaks are funeral ships loaded with treasure and headed for a resting place. They take secret routes and hard to find. People onboard are very alive.

Uno: Lords of Space, I like ships loaded with treasure! We need to find that ship! #loot

Skippy: Alien blood is blood no matter what color it is.

Wal-Targ Special Announcement

Attention all Wal-Targ-3 customers, managers and citizen-associates. The pirate ship, Omega Murder Comet, has been spotted in nearby star systems. More disturbing, recent Wal-Targ operatives have confirmed that the captain, one Randy Deathspasm, has known connections to a recent scourge of low prices and dominating monopolies, Captain Grognard.

Wal-Targ citizen associates and business partners are to be advised to avoid all contact with these pirates as they have been known to have zero respect for the manifest destiny of Wal-Targ’s galactic quest of financial supremacy. If spotted, please contact the closest Wal-Targ Security Ship and await assistance.

Note, any cargo lost while within Wal-Targ space will not be compensated by Wal-Targ.

Further Information:

Randy Deathspasm is wanted on 783 counts of Making Music Without an A-Tunes Commercial License.

Omega Murder Comet has a confirmed capture record of 26 merchant ships.

Omega Murder Comet most successful single was “Eat My Plasma” which was the 3rd most downloaded song on the SecretNet for last year.

Encounter at Airlock Seven

The airlock opened and Captain Grognard winced. The screech of metal on metal was irritating on a normal day but today his head was barely functioning. He had just returned from New Hope and he was just now starting to come down from all the stims he had consumed. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and staying alert for a 93 hour game of Alignments and Alliances had been a challenge. Grognard had won a glorious victory but he barely remembered half of it.

Still, it had been nice to game again. Even better was being able to walk into a gaming parlor and being rich enough to purchase whatever expensive or obscure gaming holo-figure that he wanted. He should have become a Space Pirate ages ago. There was almost no other way to afford being a gamer these days.

Grognard walked down the corridor towards his ship. His bodyguards were aware of his headache and were respectfully quiet. Grognard planned to get back to The Reroll and crash in his quarters for an entire day of silence. He couldn’t wait.

“GOOD EVENING, CAPTAIN GROGNARD!” a booming voice announced down the corridor.

Grognard physically recoiled from the sound. When he opened his eyes, he saw seven people standing in front of the airlock to his ship. All of them were wearing leather and polished steel. Strange piercings emerged from unexpected places. Both men and women had long flowing hair that shimmered in the light. They wielded large weapons that Grognard didn’t recognize and his personal sidearm felt inadequate in size.

“Keep your drekking voice down!” Grognard snapped. “What do you want?”

The leader stepped forward. He was seven feet tall and a chest nearly as broad. Muscles rippled on his chest as he walked. He carried a large club adorned with spikes.

“I am Randy Deathspasm!” the leader yelled slightly quieter. “I am lead singer of the starship band known as Omega Murder Comet! We are a three hundred strong band and we have come to rock!”

Grognard relaxed slightly. They were Indie Pirates. After the great A-Tunes Infringement Wars, many music armies went rogue and sought out their own fortunes. He had heard of them but he didn’t know any of them was operating in this sector.

He took a closer look at the fearsome group. What he thought were weapons were really musical instruments with really sharp edges and laser barrels. Randy wasn’t carrying a club, it was a microphone. Each of them had a cable plugged into their ears, obviously feeding them a constant stream of music.

“You have come to the right place,” Grognard said. “There are plenty of merchants ships that come through here. Just leave the other pirates alone and you’ll be fine.”

Randy Deathspasm shook his head. “We heard that you have fought the Star Navy and lived. We have heard that you have slaughtered people in boarding actions. We have heard that you have an unquenchable blood thirst!”

Captain Grognard stood a little taller. “Yeah, we kick a lot of ass around here.”

“We wish to join your tour!” Deathspasm said. “We want to add our music to yours and wash in the blood of our enemies, steal their gold and ravish their groupies. We shall open for you until the skies rain gore on our rotting bodies!”

“What the drek does that mean?” one of Grognard’s bodyguards said.

Captain Grognard smiled. “They want to join our fleet.”

He stepped forward and offered his hand. The giant rocker shook his hand, his large fist swallowing Grognard’s.

“To celebrate, my band crew has prepared a song,” Randy Deathspasm said. “It is called Murder Pirates. It is twenty minutes long and extremely brutal. Plug into our Shipper network and you can download it. I can’t wait to hear what you think of it.”

Grognard’s smile never faltered. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

Released From Medbay!

My wife is cleared to return to work on Monday! Her broken leg has healed, she’s endured surgery, a cast and 4 months of physical therapy! She can walk now with a cane like a bad-ass mastermind!

Best of all, I get my gaming area back! Woot!

Current plans are to play the next campaign mission in my Captain Grognard campaign next week and do an AAR the week after.

Next week though, I get back into the fiction fluff side of things with blog posts. 3 months ago I rolled up a new Class 4 Pirate Ship to join the fleet but never got around to describing them. I really should have thought about that more.

I want to thank everyone for sticking with the blog and I can promise new adventures soon.