Today we add Captain Ticklepoke to the names at White Skull. We also add the names of the brave crew of The Slapstick. We honor our fellow pirates for their brave lives, outrageous lifestyle choices and their defiance of civilized tyranny. They died fighting fellow pirates on a matter of simply not liking each other. Lawful worlds would consider this a waste of life but we are pirates and not liking someone is reason enough for anything.
Captain Ticklepoke was a good pirate but she was also a great clown. I don’t pretend to understand the people of Juggalon. Their ways are strange to me. Lords of Space, Ticklepoke was strange to me with her orange hair, pale skin and weirdly round nose. But one thing I understand is that Ticklepoke had laughter in her heart and she did her best to share that laughter with the rest of us.
Once we looted a freighter. As we were about to send the crew on their way, Ticklepoke sent over a team of demolition experts to leave stinkbombs at random locations around the ship. She told me the bombs were set to go off at different times, ensuring the crew would be subjected to the smell of rotten eggs for the next two years.
That’s pretty funny.
One time she replaced the water in my hygiene pod with glitter. It was the sticky glitter so for the next week, I kept finding random shiny stars on my skin.
That was less funny to me but it cracked up my crew.
Last night as I was preparing this speech, I received a coded message sent by Ticklepoke. It had recorded during the final moments of Ticklepoke’s life and she sent it by a primitive radio unit. This meant our sensors didn’t pick it up until later. I would like to play it for you now.
“Hey Grognard, I got a joke for you. A bomb says what?”
(Pause)
“Boom!”
(Sound of plasma explosion)
Captain Ticklepoke. Pirate, clown, madwoman and my friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment