Space Pirate Almanac: White Skull

White Skull is an asteroid located in a lawless section of space around the Vemor star. There are no planets there; just several rings of asteroid belts and other debris. People have tried mining the asteroids but the frequent pirate attacks and low mineral wealth of the asteroids make it unprofitable.

Several centuries ago, an unknown pirate captain mourned the loss of his friends. He found a large asteroid and used his ship’s weapons to carve the asteroid into the shape of a skull. He then landed on the asteroid and inscribed the names of his fallen comrades.

Other pirates followed his example. Names of crew, names of captains and names of the ships themselves have been added over the years. Sometimes treasure is left there as tribute but not often. It is bad luck to steal from White Skull but pirates still do.

The area around the White Skull is considered a safe zone among pirates. A pirate caught attacking another pirate while they are in the process of mourning will be hunted down by all other pirates. They will be slaughtered and their names will never go onto the White Skull.

Eighty years ago, a Star Navy Admiral ordered the destruction of White Skull. It was demolished and reduced to atoms. He claimed that it made no sense to allow a monument to piracy.

Pirates from all six rings came in protest. Pirate ships formed fleets with the sole purpose of destroying Star Navy ships. Starbases were destroyed instead of looted, shipping lanes were obliterated and entire planets watched their economies collapsed.

It was known as the Great Pirate Invasion. It was a time or cooperation among pirates despite having no single leader.

The Star Navy had to take desperate measures. They convicted the admiral of “Extreme Vandalism” and gave him a life sentence of imprisonment. Star Navy engineers selected a new, larger asteroid and carved it into the shape of a skull. A Star Navy edict went out declaring the Vemor Star system to be outside their jurisdiction.

The pirates broke apart. They ceased their relentless attacks on the Star Navy and returned to their old hunting grounds. They called the new asteroid White Skull and returned to their practice of inscribing the names of the fallen.

Space Pirate Almanac: Cyborg Collectives

Cybernetic implants are quite common among Basic races and for the most part, quite safe. That’s for the most part. When metal implants that regulate your bodily functions malfunction, it is usually in a spectacular and deadly manner.

One hundred years ago, the Lava operating system was the primary operating system of choice for brain enhancement implants. They lost their market share when the infamous Lava version 892.3 update had an unsettling effect on their users. It rewired their neural pathways to be more efficient and logical while also linking other users of the 892.3 update together. This created a new race of similar thinking beings almost over night and one thing they all agreed on was that the laws and society rules they once obeyed were no longer relevant to them.

Lava fixed these problems with the 892.4 update but it was too late. Linked together, the cyborgs went to work creating their own operating systems, one that wasn’t prone to bugs that create new levels of consciousness. Many of the cyborgs formed collectives that worked together to meet common goals. These collectives decided to cut off links to other collectives in order to ensure mission purity.

No one knows for sure how many Cyborg Collectives are currently in operation. The Cyborgs are willing to upgrade volunteer organic creatures who wish to add their collective. Several collectives have grown and splintered as the needs within the collective change. They spread like amoebas through the galaxy seeking like minded individuals.

Some Cyborg Collectives even become pirates. These Cyborgs are usually interested in material wealth and have a well known ruthlessness to their tactics. They have little mercy as they often edit it out of themselves. 

Space Pirate Almanac: The Clowns of Juggalon

Juggalon Pirate

There are many motives for intelligent being to go out into the universe to colonize planets. Some do it for personal gain while others do it for spiritual growth. Some wish to flee oppressive governments or restrictive social norms. The reasons are as varied as there are stars in the sky.

One group went out to find a planet where they could laugh.

The inhabitants of Juggalon founded their world on the principles of comedy. They wanted to form a society that lived, breathed and grew as funny people. They adopted a strange lifestyle where the punchline is of the highest priority. On Juggalon, there is no such thing as a sad clown, unless it is funny.

Their version of comedy however can seem simplistic to outsiders. They are jaded to most forms of comedy and therefore rely on the classics. Cream pies never go out of style to Juggalons. Neither does seltzer water to the face, a dangerously placed banana or a shower of confetti.

Over the centuries, the Juggalons have embraced genetic alteration to help them achieve their ideal form. Pale skin, red lips and unusual feet sizes are the norm.

Just because they are clowns does not mean that they are not functioning members of their society. They have police, doctors, lawyers, farmers, and any profession that you can imagine. They even have criminals. The only difference is on Juggalon, all of these professionals also have a comedy routine. And probably something that explodes and makes a rude noise.

Lately though, some Juggalons have grown unhappy with their planet and have begun to explore the universe. People are seeing more clowns traveling on starships, visiting distant space stations and touring the space lanes. Some clowns have even resorted to space piracy with increasing numbers.

*Source for Clown Pirate picture can be found here*

Space Pirate Almanac : Wal-Targ 3

Wal-Targ 3 is a commerce planet bought, terraformed and governed by the Wal-Targ Corporation during the 4th Galactic Expansion Wars. Like other Wal-Targ planets, the local merchant guilds and nearby planets battled bitterly to keep Wal-Targ out of their system but they ultiumately failed. Now 98% of legal commerce in the surrounding six sectors go through Wal-Targ 3.

Wal-Targ 3 is the distribution center for this corner of the galaxy. All raw goods, manufactured items and luxury goods pass through Wal-Targ 3 for processing before entering the wider market. Every merchant ship in the system is either en route to Wal-Targ 3 or leaving it. This makes Wal-Targ 3 a target rich environment for piracy.

The actual planet is a dreary place. Every inhabitant is a Wal-Targ employee working poverty wages to maintain their existence. This makes the area ripe for bribery by enterprising pirates as well as a good location to recruit desperate cutthroats who will gladly slash a throat instead of slashing prices.

The current governor is Sam Targ v24. Like all Wal-Targ planets, the governor is a clone of the Wal-Targ founder. When he dies, another version is decanted and put into service. This allows Wal-Targ 3 to benefit from Sam Targ’s legendary financial ruthlessness and hatred of organized labor. However, some genetic drift has been introduced into the clone line and Sam Targ v24 has been showing signs of an irrational obsession with keeping trench coats in stock at all times at all outlets which has greatly altered fashion choices in the surrounding systems. Genetiscts hope to correct this when Sam Targ v25 is decanted.

Be sure to avoid FoodCourtia, the Food Court city. It is common place to send problem Wal-Targ employees who will serve a lifetime of providing food to others. The murder rate is insanely high and the food is worse than on a Hishen slave ship.