Today we add Captain Ticklepoke to the names at White Skull. We also add the names of the brave crew of The Slapstick. We honor our fellow pirates for their brave lives, outrageous lifestyle choices and their defiance of civilized tyranny. They died fighting fellow pirates on a matter of simply not liking each other. Lawful worlds would consider this a waste of life but we are pirates and not liking someone is reason enough for anything.
Captain Ticklepoke was a good pirate but she was also a great clown. I don’t pretend to understand the people of Juggalon. Their ways are strange to me. Lords of Space, Ticklepoke was strange to me with her orange hair, pale skin and weirdly round nose. But one thing I understand is that Ticklepoke had laughter in her heart and she did her best to share that laughter with the rest of us.
Once we looted a freighter. As we were about to send the crew on their way, Ticklepoke sent over a team of demolition experts to leave stinkbombs at random locations around the ship. She told me the bombs were set to go off at different times, ensuring the crew would be subjected to the smell of rotten eggs for the next two years.
That’s pretty funny.
One time she replaced the water in my hygiene pod with glitter. It was the sticky glitter so for the next week, I kept finding random shiny stars on my skin.
That was less funny to me but it cracked up my crew.
Last night as I was preparing this speech, I received a coded message sent by Ticklepoke. It had recorded during the final moments of Ticklepoke’s life and she sent it by a primitive radio unit. This meant our sensors didn’t pick it up until later. I would like to play it for you now.
“Hey Grognard, I got a joke for you. A bomb says what?”
(Pause)
“Boom!”
(Sound of plasma explosion)
Captain Ticklepoke. Pirate, clown, madwoman and my friend.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Operations Update
August was not a good month for me. My wife and I have been looking for new jobs which can be time consuming. I am also writing a novel and let me say, I picked a heck of a time to be writing anything.
What amuses me more is that most of my regular war-gaming blogs ground to a halt to. Quite a few stopped and those that kept going were limping. Maybe it was a cursed month for all of us.
I will resume operations this week because at this point I need something really fun to do and space piracy hits that itch. I have another adventure idea to playtest and maybe I will squeeze in a normal patrol mission just for kicks.
Originally I thought I would be playing some New Hope 5150 by this point but that has not happened. I also planned to do some painting but writing can be its own beast. 2014 is turning out to be a year about time management.
What amuses me more is that most of my regular war-gaming blogs ground to a halt to. Quite a few stopped and those that kept going were limping. Maybe it was a cursed month for all of us.
I will resume operations this week because at this point I need something really fun to do and space piracy hits that itch. I have another adventure idea to playtest and maybe I will squeeze in a normal patrol mission just for kicks.
Originally I thought I would be playing some New Hope 5150 by this point but that has not happened. I also planned to do some painting but writing can be its own beast. 2014 is turning out to be a year about time management.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Space Pirate Almanac: White Skull
White Skull is an asteroid located in a lawless section of space around the Vemor star. There are no planets there; just several rings of asteroid belts and other debris. People have tried mining the asteroids but the frequent pirate attacks and low mineral wealth of the asteroids make it unprofitable.
Several centuries ago, an unknown pirate captain mourned the loss of his friends. He found a large asteroid and used his ship’s weapons to carve the asteroid into the shape of a skull. He then landed on the asteroid and inscribed the names of his fallen comrades.
Other pirates followed his example. Names of crew, names of captains and names of the ships themselves have been added over the years. Sometimes treasure is left there as tribute but not often. It is bad luck to steal from White Skull but pirates still do.
The area around the White Skull is considered a safe zone among pirates. A pirate caught attacking another pirate while they are in the process of mourning will be hunted down by all other pirates. They will be slaughtered and their names will never go onto the White Skull.
Eighty years ago, a Star Navy Admiral ordered the destruction of White Skull. It was demolished and reduced to atoms. He claimed that it made no sense to allow a monument to piracy.
Pirates from all six rings came in protest. Pirate ships formed fleets with the sole purpose of destroying Star Navy ships. Starbases were destroyed instead of looted, shipping lanes were obliterated and entire planets watched their economies collapsed.
It was known as the Great Pirate Invasion. It was a time or cooperation among pirates despite having no single leader.
The Star Navy had to take desperate measures. They convicted the admiral of “Extreme Vandalism” and gave him a life sentence of imprisonment. Star Navy engineers selected a new, larger asteroid and carved it into the shape of a skull. A Star Navy edict went out declaring the Vemor Star system to be outside their jurisdiction.
The pirates broke apart. They ceased their relentless attacks on the Star Navy and returned to their old hunting grounds. They called the new asteroid White Skull and returned to their practice of inscribing the names of the fallen.
Several centuries ago, an unknown pirate captain mourned the loss of his friends. He found a large asteroid and used his ship’s weapons to carve the asteroid into the shape of a skull. He then landed on the asteroid and inscribed the names of his fallen comrades.
Other pirates followed his example. Names of crew, names of captains and names of the ships themselves have been added over the years. Sometimes treasure is left there as tribute but not often. It is bad luck to steal from White Skull but pirates still do.
The area around the White Skull is considered a safe zone among pirates. A pirate caught attacking another pirate while they are in the process of mourning will be hunted down by all other pirates. They will be slaughtered and their names will never go onto the White Skull.
Eighty years ago, a Star Navy Admiral ordered the destruction of White Skull. It was demolished and reduced to atoms. He claimed that it made no sense to allow a monument to piracy.
Pirates from all six rings came in protest. Pirate ships formed fleets with the sole purpose of destroying Star Navy ships. Starbases were destroyed instead of looted, shipping lanes were obliterated and entire planets watched their economies collapsed.
It was known as the Great Pirate Invasion. It was a time or cooperation among pirates despite having no single leader.
The Star Navy had to take desperate measures. They convicted the admiral of “Extreme Vandalism” and gave him a life sentence of imprisonment. Star Navy engineers selected a new, larger asteroid and carved it into the shape of a skull. A Star Navy edict went out declaring the Vemor Star system to be outside their jurisdiction.
The pirates broke apart. They ceased their relentless attacks on the Star Navy and returned to their old hunting grounds. They called the new asteroid White Skull and returned to their practice of inscribing the names of the fallen.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Against All Odds
The scream of a hundred electric guitars burned throughout the comm system of Omega Murder Comet. Drums thundered from the engineering department. The chimes of keyboards echoed from the cafeteria. The pirate ship was in the middle of a jump and the crew was singing their war song.
“I see you standing dead in space,” roared Randy Deathspasm, Captain and Lead Singer. “I see your ship, helpless for the kill. I aim with the skill of an ace, you die as I laugh my fill.”
Captain Grognard frowned. He didn’t think you could “laugh your fill” but he didn’t say anything. His own ship, The Reroll, was being repaired and he had transferred command to the Omega Murder Comet. It wasn’t his place to interrupt their music.
Plus, he had a solo coming up and he didn’t want to mess up his part. He was playing a recorder, something he hadn’t played since he was a kid but when Captain Deathspasm offered him a musical part in the song, Grognard couldn’t turn it down. This was his chance to rock out like a rock star with an electric recorder just like he used to dream when he was a teenager.
Not to mention, one of the Omega Murder Comet groupies with a blue Mohawk kept giving him the eye while licking her lips. She had black makeup and a piercing that took up most of her nose. She reminded him of the girls he used to lust after back in school. Grognard hoped to fulfill two of his teenage fantasies today.
Of course, that was IF they survived today’s fight. Today they weren’t raiding merchants or attempting a prison break. No, today was strictly personal. Captain Arachnos had insulted Grognard and his fleet at a public bar in front of half the scum of the galaxy. The only thing Grognard could do to save their reputation was challenge Arachnos to a fight.
So here they were at the Aeon Nebula, ready to fight pirates until one of them fled the area. There would be no loot to sell. There would be no treasure to steal. This was all about kicking the ass of a jerk and making the rest of the sector think twice about crossing Grognard’s path.
“Coming out of jump and entering real space!” the helm announced. The song abruptly shifted to an instrumental as the backup band took over. Everyone put down their instruments and even the Mohawk groupie went back to work scrubbing the floors.
“Slapstick is right behind us,” sensors reported.
Captain Deathspasm nodded. “What of our enemies? Did they have the courage to appear?”
“Ghost Widow has been spotted!” sensors reported. “They are dead ahead at thirty-six kliks! Also another class 4 ships, the Black Scorpion.”
Grognard groaned. Captain Arachnos had two class four ships to Gorgnard’s class four and a class three. The hated Arachnos had brought the big guns for this one.
“Tell Captain Ticklepoke to assume a wing position behind us,” Grognard commanded. “Tell her to focus fire on the Ghost Widow. I want to-“
“Incoming fire! Brace for impact!” the tactical officer, Lita Fire said.
“Already?” Grognard said. He checked his screen and saw a barrage of gunfire headed their way. The enemy was focusing fire to try to overwhelm the Omega Murder Comet’s shields.
“They run a tight fleet,” Grognard said. “Veer to port forty-five degrees and return fire!”
The Omega Murder Comet and the slapstick returned fire. Grognard saw all of their attacks concentrate on one point of the Ghost Widow’s shields. It would take a while to wear down even one shield but it could be done.
“Ghost Widow lost a shield!” Officer Fire reported!
“Ha!” Captain Deathspasm said. “We don’t drok around!”
Grognard smiled. That was a lucky break. He kept an eye on his personal screen as the two fleets converged. Omega Murder Comet was in the front and absorbing attacks from Arachnos’ fleet. Grognard’s forces were turning sharply to port and Arachnos had to keep turning to keep Grognard in sight. Once they were both in missile range, the real fight would begin.
A shield collapsed on Omega Murder Comet from the hail of fire. Almost immediately, Arachnos achieved missile lock first. A storm of missiles headed their way. The Omega Murder Comet tried to dodge but two of the missiles slammed into the Omega Murder Comet’s hull.
“Report!” Captain Deathspasm demanded.
“Damage to decks six and seven, airlocks engaged!” someone reported back.
Grognard opened a private channel to The Slapstick. Captain Ticklepoke’s frizzy orange hair and white face appeared before him.
“Howdy-ho, Captain!” Ticklepoke said.
“Ticklepoke, I need you to get behind the Ghost Widow. Use all your speed!” Grognard ordered.
“Awesome-peasy!” Ticklepoke said. She saluted and stabbed herself in the eye in a comic manner.
“Lords of Space, my plan relies on a clown,” Grognard said.
The Slapstick speed ahead with its faster engines. The Omega Murder Comet kept turning but slowed down as it returned fire on the Ghost Widow. They inflicted no noticeable damage.
The Ghost Widow and Black Scorpion had better luck. Their guns and missiles came fast and heavy. The ship shook as the hull took more damage. Another shield collapsed and Grognard felt this entire attack might be doomed.
Grognard looked at Deathspasm and the Captain bellowed more orders to his crew. Grognard surveyed the bridge crew and none of them looked shaken in the least. The ship was being blasted bit by bit but these rockers weren’t flinching.
The Mohawk groupie girl gave Grognard a thumbs up as the ship shook from another hit.
“Madness,” Grognard whispered but it was a kind of madness he was grateful for.
“Slapstick is behind the enemy!” Office Fire reported. “Launching attack on Black Scorpion!”
Grognard had a sudden flash of fear. The Slapstick was a Marauder Class, the Black Scorpion a Ravager. It would take a miracle to get through the Black Scorpion’s defenses.
“Slapstick missile hit Scorpion’s missile bay!” Officer Fire yelled.
“Lords of Space,” Grognard whispered. Luck was on their side.
He watched as the Black Scorpion changed course to engage the Slapstick. Ghost Widow stuck to Omega Murder Comet’s tail which was fine because the Slapstick stayed on the Ghost Widow.
Damage reports scrolled across Grognard’s screen. Omega Murder Comet took another hit to the hull. Slapstick lost a shield. Ghost Widow lost some of their guns to a shot that slipped past the shield. Omega Murder Comet lost more of its rapidly disintegrating hull. Ghost Widow lost another shield to missile fire. It was insane. The Ghost Widow should have destroyed those missiles easily with their AAR guns but the random flight patterns of the clowns’ missiles were slipping past.
“Start slowing down,” Grognard ordered. He wanted to throw off the Black Scorpion’s turning intercept.
“We hit their engines!” someone yelled. Grognard looked at the tactical screen and saw plasma leaking from the Ghost Widow. He allowed himself a laugh.
Even with a damaged engine, the Ghost Widow was still going fast. It zipped past Omega Murder Comet, coming within their missile arc.
“Fire!” Captain Deathspasm yelled and it reverberated all through the ship.
The missiles were taken down by the Ghost Widow’s AAR but Omega Murder Comet and The Slapstick unloaded with their guns on the unshielded ship. Explosions rippled across the hull of the Ghost Widow from multiple collisions.
“Their guns are disabled!” Officer Fire reported. “They have no shields, missiles or guns!”
Grognard let out a laugh. It was unreal. Pure concentrated fire had done the impossible. They had disarmed the enemy through pure stubbornness!
The Ghost Widow shimmered as it activated jump drives. When it leaped out of real space, the bridge crew cheered.
“Drok yeah!” Captain Deathspasm said
“In your face!” Captain Grognard screamed at the vanishing Captain Arachnos.
Mohawk groupie girl jumped in Captain Grognard’s arms. She kissed him with multiple tongue piercings.
“Black Scorpion coming within range!” sensors yelled.
“Oh yeah,” Grognard said as he gently pushed Mohawk Groupie away. “We still got a nearly untouched Ravager to deal with.”
“Black Scorpion is attacking the Slapstick!” sensors reported.
“Come to a dead stop and turn us around!” Captain Deathspasm ordered.
The Omega Murder Comet dropped to zero velocity. Spinning like a turret, the ship swung around to face the incoming Black Scorpion.
“Come on Ticklepoke, get away from there,” Grognard whispered.
The Slapstick poured on speed to elude the Black Scorpion. The one shield wasn’t enough to stop the rain of gunfire headed its way. The Slapstick shook as an explosion ripped a huge part of the hull away.
“Drok,” Grognard whispered. He watched in horror as the Black Scorpion launched missiles. The Slapstick was barely intact as it tried to dodge. Both missiles made contact and turned The Slapstick into a flaming ball of wreckage.
Silence fell upon the bridge of the Omega Murder Comet. Captain Ticklepoke and her clown crew were dead. The crazy weirdoes were freaky but they were their crazy weirdoes. A low growl hummed through the bridge.
“Vengeance for our pale brothers and sisters!” Captain Deathspasm yelled. “Kill them!”
Omega Murder Comet fired long range guns. The Black Scorpion began a long turn around the stationary Omega Murder Comet. They exchanged fire at long range as they felt each other out.
A shield collapsed on the Omega Murder Comet. Grognard swore and shouted instructions to the weapons officers.
A shield collapsed on the Black Scorpion as concentrated fire overwhelmed a shield.
“Forward!” Deathspasm yelled as the Black Scorpion came within ninety degrees of the pirates. Omega Murder Comet surged forward on damaged engines and kept firing.
Grognard let out a ragged breath. This is what space combat boiled down to: giant hunks of metal firing at each other over great distances. It was a test of nerves. The problem was that the Omega Murder Comet was already greatly damaged. If he was smart, he would have ordered the retreat right now and let Arachnos have his bragging rights. It would be the safer thing to do.
But that was before they killed The Slapstick. Now it was personal.
The two ships closed in on each other. They launch missiles at each other. The Black Scorpion lost a shield and some of their AAR guns. The Omega Murder Comet lost more hull.
The two ships passed each other and both began their swing around. Grognard kept staring at the damage report and wonders how the hull was staying together.
The ship shook and Grognard nearly fell out of his chair. “Engines have been hit!” someone yelled.
Captain Deathspasm glanced at Grognard before yelling orders to fight. Engine hits were serious. If they were going to give up the fight, it should be now.
Grognard said nothing. The Black Scorpion was wounded. The Slapstick must be avenged. He wasn’t giving up now.
Another hail of gunfire and the Black Scorpion lost their last shield. The crew of the Omega Murder Comet redoubled their efforts. They smelled blood and they wanted more.
Gunfire smashed into the hull of the Black Scorpion. It was still firing back but most of the shots missed. Grognard wondered if their inaccuracy was down to casualties or just plain understanding of how weak their position was.
The Black Scorpion glowed before vanishing into jump space.
“YES!” Grognard screamed. This was unbelievable! They were outclassed but they are the last ships in the Aeon Nebula. They shouldn’t have won but they did!
Captain Deathspasm grabbed Grognard’s hand and raised it in the air as if they had won an arena match.
“Nobody droks with us!” Captain Deathspasm said. “We’re going to write a rock opera for this battle, complete with a dirge for the Slapstick!”
Grognard nodded in agreement. The Mohawk groupie found her way into his arms again and kissed him. Grognard couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate
“I see you standing dead in space,” roared Randy Deathspasm, Captain and Lead Singer. “I see your ship, helpless for the kill. I aim with the skill of an ace, you die as I laugh my fill.”
Captain Grognard frowned. He didn’t think you could “laugh your fill” but he didn’t say anything. His own ship, The Reroll, was being repaired and he had transferred command to the Omega Murder Comet. It wasn’t his place to interrupt their music.
Plus, he had a solo coming up and he didn’t want to mess up his part. He was playing a recorder, something he hadn’t played since he was a kid but when Captain Deathspasm offered him a musical part in the song, Grognard couldn’t turn it down. This was his chance to rock out like a rock star with an electric recorder just like he used to dream when he was a teenager.
Not to mention, one of the Omega Murder Comet groupies with a blue Mohawk kept giving him the eye while licking her lips. She had black makeup and a piercing that took up most of her nose. She reminded him of the girls he used to lust after back in school. Grognard hoped to fulfill two of his teenage fantasies today.
Of course, that was IF they survived today’s fight. Today they weren’t raiding merchants or attempting a prison break. No, today was strictly personal. Captain Arachnos had insulted Grognard and his fleet at a public bar in front of half the scum of the galaxy. The only thing Grognard could do to save their reputation was challenge Arachnos to a fight.
So here they were at the Aeon Nebula, ready to fight pirates until one of them fled the area. There would be no loot to sell. There would be no treasure to steal. This was all about kicking the ass of a jerk and making the rest of the sector think twice about crossing Grognard’s path.
“Coming out of jump and entering real space!” the helm announced. The song abruptly shifted to an instrumental as the backup band took over. Everyone put down their instruments and even the Mohawk groupie went back to work scrubbing the floors.
“Slapstick is right behind us,” sensors reported.
Captain Deathspasm nodded. “What of our enemies? Did they have the courage to appear?”
“Ghost Widow has been spotted!” sensors reported. “They are dead ahead at thirty-six kliks! Also another class 4 ships, the Black Scorpion.”
Grognard groaned. Captain Arachnos had two class four ships to Gorgnard’s class four and a class three. The hated Arachnos had brought the big guns for this one.
“Tell Captain Ticklepoke to assume a wing position behind us,” Grognard commanded. “Tell her to focus fire on the Ghost Widow. I want to-“
“Incoming fire! Brace for impact!” the tactical officer, Lita Fire said.
“Already?” Grognard said. He checked his screen and saw a barrage of gunfire headed their way. The enemy was focusing fire to try to overwhelm the Omega Murder Comet’s shields.
“They run a tight fleet,” Grognard said. “Veer to port forty-five degrees and return fire!”
The Omega Murder Comet and the slapstick returned fire. Grognard saw all of their attacks concentrate on one point of the Ghost Widow’s shields. It would take a while to wear down even one shield but it could be done.
“Ghost Widow lost a shield!” Officer Fire reported!
“Ha!” Captain Deathspasm said. “We don’t drok around!”
Grognard smiled. That was a lucky break. He kept an eye on his personal screen as the two fleets converged. Omega Murder Comet was in the front and absorbing attacks from Arachnos’ fleet. Grognard’s forces were turning sharply to port and Arachnos had to keep turning to keep Grognard in sight. Once they were both in missile range, the real fight would begin.
A shield collapsed on Omega Murder Comet from the hail of fire. Almost immediately, Arachnos achieved missile lock first. A storm of missiles headed their way. The Omega Murder Comet tried to dodge but two of the missiles slammed into the Omega Murder Comet’s hull.
“Report!” Captain Deathspasm demanded.
“Damage to decks six and seven, airlocks engaged!” someone reported back.
Grognard opened a private channel to The Slapstick. Captain Ticklepoke’s frizzy orange hair and white face appeared before him.
“Howdy-ho, Captain!” Ticklepoke said.
“Ticklepoke, I need you to get behind the Ghost Widow. Use all your speed!” Grognard ordered.
“Awesome-peasy!” Ticklepoke said. She saluted and stabbed herself in the eye in a comic manner.
“Lords of Space, my plan relies on a clown,” Grognard said.
The Slapstick speed ahead with its faster engines. The Omega Murder Comet kept turning but slowed down as it returned fire on the Ghost Widow. They inflicted no noticeable damage.
The Ghost Widow and Black Scorpion had better luck. Their guns and missiles came fast and heavy. The ship shook as the hull took more damage. Another shield collapsed and Grognard felt this entire attack might be doomed.
Grognard looked at Deathspasm and the Captain bellowed more orders to his crew. Grognard surveyed the bridge crew and none of them looked shaken in the least. The ship was being blasted bit by bit but these rockers weren’t flinching.
The Mohawk groupie girl gave Grognard a thumbs up as the ship shook from another hit.
“Madness,” Grognard whispered but it was a kind of madness he was grateful for.
“Slapstick is behind the enemy!” Office Fire reported. “Launching attack on Black Scorpion!”
Grognard had a sudden flash of fear. The Slapstick was a Marauder Class, the Black Scorpion a Ravager. It would take a miracle to get through the Black Scorpion’s defenses.
“Slapstick missile hit Scorpion’s missile bay!” Officer Fire yelled.
“Lords of Space,” Grognard whispered. Luck was on their side.
He watched as the Black Scorpion changed course to engage the Slapstick. Ghost Widow stuck to Omega Murder Comet’s tail which was fine because the Slapstick stayed on the Ghost Widow.
Damage reports scrolled across Grognard’s screen. Omega Murder Comet took another hit to the hull. Slapstick lost a shield. Ghost Widow lost some of their guns to a shot that slipped past the shield. Omega Murder Comet lost more of its rapidly disintegrating hull. Ghost Widow lost another shield to missile fire. It was insane. The Ghost Widow should have destroyed those missiles easily with their AAR guns but the random flight patterns of the clowns’ missiles were slipping past.
“Start slowing down,” Grognard ordered. He wanted to throw off the Black Scorpion’s turning intercept.
“We hit their engines!” someone yelled. Grognard looked at the tactical screen and saw plasma leaking from the Ghost Widow. He allowed himself a laugh.
Even with a damaged engine, the Ghost Widow was still going fast. It zipped past Omega Murder Comet, coming within their missile arc.
“Fire!” Captain Deathspasm yelled and it reverberated all through the ship.
The missiles were taken down by the Ghost Widow’s AAR but Omega Murder Comet and The Slapstick unloaded with their guns on the unshielded ship. Explosions rippled across the hull of the Ghost Widow from multiple collisions.
“Their guns are disabled!” Officer Fire reported. “They have no shields, missiles or guns!”
Grognard let out a laugh. It was unreal. Pure concentrated fire had done the impossible. They had disarmed the enemy through pure stubbornness!
The Ghost Widow shimmered as it activated jump drives. When it leaped out of real space, the bridge crew cheered.
“Drok yeah!” Captain Deathspasm said
“In your face!” Captain Grognard screamed at the vanishing Captain Arachnos.
Mohawk groupie girl jumped in Captain Grognard’s arms. She kissed him with multiple tongue piercings.
“Black Scorpion coming within range!” sensors yelled.
“Oh yeah,” Grognard said as he gently pushed Mohawk Groupie away. “We still got a nearly untouched Ravager to deal with.”
“Black Scorpion is attacking the Slapstick!” sensors reported.
“Come to a dead stop and turn us around!” Captain Deathspasm ordered.
The Omega Murder Comet dropped to zero velocity. Spinning like a turret, the ship swung around to face the incoming Black Scorpion.
“Come on Ticklepoke, get away from there,” Grognard whispered.
The Slapstick poured on speed to elude the Black Scorpion. The one shield wasn’t enough to stop the rain of gunfire headed its way. The Slapstick shook as an explosion ripped a huge part of the hull away.
“Drok,” Grognard whispered. He watched in horror as the Black Scorpion launched missiles. The Slapstick was barely intact as it tried to dodge. Both missiles made contact and turned The Slapstick into a flaming ball of wreckage.
Silence fell upon the bridge of the Omega Murder Comet. Captain Ticklepoke and her clown crew were dead. The crazy weirdoes were freaky but they were their crazy weirdoes. A low growl hummed through the bridge.
“Vengeance for our pale brothers and sisters!” Captain Deathspasm yelled. “Kill them!”
Omega Murder Comet fired long range guns. The Black Scorpion began a long turn around the stationary Omega Murder Comet. They exchanged fire at long range as they felt each other out.
A shield collapsed on the Omega Murder Comet. Grognard swore and shouted instructions to the weapons officers.
A shield collapsed on the Black Scorpion as concentrated fire overwhelmed a shield.
“Forward!” Deathspasm yelled as the Black Scorpion came within ninety degrees of the pirates. Omega Murder Comet surged forward on damaged engines and kept firing.
Grognard let out a ragged breath. This is what space combat boiled down to: giant hunks of metal firing at each other over great distances. It was a test of nerves. The problem was that the Omega Murder Comet was already greatly damaged. If he was smart, he would have ordered the retreat right now and let Arachnos have his bragging rights. It would be the safer thing to do.
But that was before they killed The Slapstick. Now it was personal.
The two ships closed in on each other. They launch missiles at each other. The Black Scorpion lost a shield and some of their AAR guns. The Omega Murder Comet lost more hull.
The two ships passed each other and both began their swing around. Grognard kept staring at the damage report and wonders how the hull was staying together.
The ship shook and Grognard nearly fell out of his chair. “Engines have been hit!” someone yelled.
Captain Deathspasm glanced at Grognard before yelling orders to fight. Engine hits were serious. If they were going to give up the fight, it should be now.
Grognard said nothing. The Black Scorpion was wounded. The Slapstick must be avenged. He wasn’t giving up now.
Another hail of gunfire and the Black Scorpion lost their last shield. The crew of the Omega Murder Comet redoubled their efforts. They smelled blood and they wanted more.
Gunfire smashed into the hull of the Black Scorpion. It was still firing back but most of the shots missed. Grognard wondered if their inaccuracy was down to casualties or just plain understanding of how weak their position was.
The Black Scorpion glowed before vanishing into jump space.
“YES!” Grognard screamed. This was unbelievable! They were outclassed but they are the last ships in the Aeon Nebula. They shouldn’t have won but they did!
Captain Deathspasm grabbed Grognard’s hand and raised it in the air as if they had won an arena match.
“Nobody droks with us!” Captain Deathspasm said. “We’re going to write a rock opera for this battle, complete with a dirge for the Slapstick!”
Grognard nodded in agreement. The Mohawk groupie found her way into his arms again and kissed him. Grognard couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate
Monday, July 28, 2014
Some Pirates Just Don't Like Each Other
“By the Lords of Space, look who it is! It’s Captain Groggy!”
Grognard looked up from his rum. He was in a foul mood to begin with and being called ‘Groggy’ wasn’t helping. When he saw who it was, his mood only darkened more.
“Oh, I thought I smelled sewage,” Grognard said.
Captain Arachnos’ smug smile turned into a snarl. Arachnos got his start in space pirating by mutinying on a garbage transport. He had a million spider tattoos and named every ship in his fleet after spiders, but he still couldn’t shake his garbage past.”
“Maybe you’re smelling your own ship,” Arachnos said. “I saw what the prison did to your ship. There is a crater where your missile array used to be. Did you shoot yourself again?”
Arachnos’ crew laughed at his joke. It wasn’t a good joke but it was his crew so they were laughing.
Grognard stood up. His own crew came over to his table. The other patrons slowly left the bar. The bartender’s hands went under the bar and were obviously reaching for a rifle. Tensions were rising. The smart thing to do would be to offer Arachnos a drink and let this all slide.
“Arachnos, it is time someone finally took out the garbage around here,” Grognard said.
“Ha, with what ship, Groggy?” Archnos said.
“I still have two ships in my fleet,” Grognard said. “We only need one to take you out but we’ll bring the second just to make sure none of the vermin fleeing your ship lives.”
Grognard’s crew laughed. It was a lousy joke but it didn’t matter. Nothing was funnier than your Captain putting down another Captain.
Arachnos narrowed his eyes at Grognard. “It is time you learned respect, Groggy. In two days, I’ll be at the Aeon Nebula. Meet us there and I’ll teach you a thing or two.”
Grognard nodded. “Make sure you give your ship a wash first. I hate capturing dirty ships.”
Arachnos sneered and walked away. His crew left with him.
Grognard looked up from his rum. He was in a foul mood to begin with and being called ‘Groggy’ wasn’t helping. When he saw who it was, his mood only darkened more.
“Oh, I thought I smelled sewage,” Grognard said.
Captain Arachnos’ smug smile turned into a snarl. Arachnos got his start in space pirating by mutinying on a garbage transport. He had a million spider tattoos and named every ship in his fleet after spiders, but he still couldn’t shake his garbage past.”
“Maybe you’re smelling your own ship,” Arachnos said. “I saw what the prison did to your ship. There is a crater where your missile array used to be. Did you shoot yourself again?”
Arachnos’ crew laughed at his joke. It wasn’t a good joke but it was his crew so they were laughing.
Grognard stood up. His own crew came over to his table. The other patrons slowly left the bar. The bartender’s hands went under the bar and were obviously reaching for a rifle. Tensions were rising. The smart thing to do would be to offer Arachnos a drink and let this all slide.
“Arachnos, it is time someone finally took out the garbage around here,” Grognard said.
“Ha, with what ship, Groggy?” Archnos said.
“I still have two ships in my fleet,” Grognard said. “We only need one to take you out but we’ll bring the second just to make sure none of the vermin fleeing your ship lives.”
Grognard’s crew laughed. It was a lousy joke but it didn’t matter. Nothing was funnier than your Captain putting down another Captain.
Arachnos narrowed his eyes at Grognard. “It is time you learned respect, Groggy. In two days, I’ll be at the Aeon Nebula. Meet us there and I’ll teach you a thing or two.”
Grognard nodded. “Make sure you give your ship a wash first. I hate capturing dirty ships.”
Arachnos sneered and walked away. His crew left with him.
Prison Break Thoughts
Ouch.
I tried out my Prison Break scenario. The type and size of the prison is determined by a single die roll and I rolled the most powerful station. At 4 shields, 4 guns, 3 missiles and 2 AAR, I knew it would be tough. I had 4 pirate ships, surely that would make it a close fight?
Not really. The ships came in 48 inches away and well, got the crap blasted out of them as they came closer. The prison counted as a Class 5 ship and every hit hurt. My two Class 4 Ravagers got umm, ravaged. When the Prison made contact on their distress call and 3 Class 3 ships showed up, there was nothing for the pirates to do but run.
Much like last time’s Crypt Ship Adventure, the initial die roll to determine forces set the tone. The pirates were out classed from the start. I am not too bothered by this as asymmetrical battles seem to be what Star Navy is all about.
I am more concerned with well, how dull it was to attack a stationary target. It was a simple matter to closing in where as even when attacking a merchant ship, there is some maneuvering. I am tempted to modify this by putting a defending force around the prison to begin with. I could create a chart to generate a garrison force that protects the prison.
If I do this, I need to weaken the prison considerably. Maybe reduce it down to something with a lot of hull but weaker weapons. It could still be Class 5 but maybe only have 2 guns and 1 missile. I’ll have to think about it.
Either way, I don’t think the pirates attack a fixed point is interesting in itself. I think a garrison force is needed to jazz it up and encourage more strategy from the pirate player.
I tried out my Prison Break scenario. The type and size of the prison is determined by a single die roll and I rolled the most powerful station. At 4 shields, 4 guns, 3 missiles and 2 AAR, I knew it would be tough. I had 4 pirate ships, surely that would make it a close fight?
Not really. The ships came in 48 inches away and well, got the crap blasted out of them as they came closer. The prison counted as a Class 5 ship and every hit hurt. My two Class 4 Ravagers got umm, ravaged. When the Prison made contact on their distress call and 3 Class 3 ships showed up, there was nothing for the pirates to do but run.
Much like last time’s Crypt Ship Adventure, the initial die roll to determine forces set the tone. The pirates were out classed from the start. I am not too bothered by this as asymmetrical battles seem to be what Star Navy is all about.
I am more concerned with well, how dull it was to attack a stationary target. It was a simple matter to closing in where as even when attacking a merchant ship, there is some maneuvering. I am tempted to modify this by putting a defending force around the prison to begin with. I could create a chart to generate a garrison force that protects the prison.
If I do this, I need to weaken the prison considerably. Maybe reduce it down to something with a lot of hull but weaker weapons. It could still be Class 5 but maybe only have 2 guns and 1 missile. I’ll have to think about it.
Either way, I don’t think the pirates attack a fixed point is interesting in itself. I think a garrison force is needed to jazz it up and encourage more strategy from the pirate player.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Wal-Targ-3 Employee of the Cycle!
Wal-Targ-3 is proud to announce the Employee of the Cycle: Warden Barbara Nestle!
Warden Nestle successfully repelled an attempted prison break at Punishment Center Blue. At least eighteen pirate ships were involved in this attack but Warden Nestle was able to prevent any prisoners from escaping. Only minor damage was caused to the structure of Punishment Center Blue, and casualty rates were well below company safety guidelines!
“It was a savage fight but my expertly lead staff was able to defend the station,” Warden Nestle said. “Prisoners were able to continue their punishment service and starship identification beacon production never dropped below 98% efficiency. In fact, I hope those pirates come back so I can teach them some Wal-Targ-3 brutality!”
Wal-Targ-3 Security ships are currently searching for the pirate fleet. All citizen-associates are asked to provide any information that have in exchange for promotion points and access to the Fast Checkout Lane!
Warden Nestle successfully repelled an attempted prison break at Punishment Center Blue. At least eighteen pirate ships were involved in this attack but Warden Nestle was able to prevent any prisoners from escaping. Only minor damage was caused to the structure of Punishment Center Blue, and casualty rates were well below company safety guidelines!
“It was a savage fight but my expertly lead staff was able to defend the station,” Warden Nestle said. “Prisoners were able to continue their punishment service and starship identification beacon production never dropped below 98% efficiency. In fact, I hope those pirates come back so I can teach them some Wal-Targ-3 brutality!”
Wal-Targ-3 Security ships are currently searching for the pirate fleet. All citizen-associates are asked to provide any information that have in exchange for promotion points and access to the Fast Checkout Lane!
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